The Vesper's Cusp
by Vespertine Noir
Summary: Ira's world becomes much more than "normal" for a recovering amnesiac who was found bloody and naked wandering Shreveport's streets by a disquieting Vampire Eric. She soon becomes entangled in this abnormal world as she uncovers her dark, obscure past.
1. Prologue

A/N: Well this is my first first fanfic attempt. I hope I get lots of reviews ^_^. True Blood, I absolutely fell in love with the storyline and the characters. I am attempting to follow the True Blood tv series, sort of. This loosely takes place around/after the end of the first season. If I am way off course with chronology or whatever give me a shout out. It gets better just wait it out I have all these characters and stuff I have thought up swishing arounding my head.

There is a music playlist for this fic on my author's profile so take a look!

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Prologue

The night air hung humid and restless. The atmosphere carried a slightly rank odor of piss coupled with the scent of mingled human emotions. He waded through tangled human bodies, set on the task before him. His fangs protruded and saliva began to collect as he picked up the distinct pungent smell of blood. His muscles rippled and coiled tensely as he moved with a speed that had become as natural as the ease of feeding. He was but a blur as he let his senses lead him to his target.

Eric Northman stood in disbelief. On the contrary to shock, he believed he had become too seasoned and garnered by age to be susceptible to shock. He liked to think nothing could provoke much but a base amusement. Yes, he preferred that. He ran his tongue across slick, perfect teeth. This was, in a while, the strangest finding he had come across. She stood before him, a while away. Her entire body was racked by shock, hyperventilating. Her naked body was stained and covered with partially dried blood.

The dim street lights illuminated her dark body. Her stare was vacant as trembling fingers gripped his clothed wrists. "H-help me." He could sense the impending fatigue as her body began to crumble towards the ground. Eric swiftly, but gently threaded his jacket over her naked body and gathered her slight weight in his arms.


	2. Replenished, but not complete

A/N: Okay this has quite more length to it and hope that is enjoyed ^_^. I am basically introducing the main character and plowing through whats running through her mind (hope I did well). It might be confusing so ask questions if there are any.

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Chapter 1

"**Replenished, but not complete**"

At first there was sound; only a thrill pitch that gave the notion of consciousness. I suppose this was what the beginnings of birth were. The awareness of oneself. The feeling of desperation, of me fighting to leave myself. The lights overhead were a beacon of light I couldn't withstand, my eyes snapped shut. I couldn't fathom the lack of sight, or more precisely the sensitivity to it. One thing at a time… My eyes remained closed. I ran my tongue over my chapped lips. Yes, my body. I began to attempt to gain bearing of my surroundings through the feel of the atmosphere, the crisp air licking at my skin. A solitary tear traced the side of my face, pooling into my ear… Cool air… It was dry, wrapping around my body fiercely. Yes…cold. It _is_ cold. I wiped the chilled tear away with the back of my hand. My fingertips, I felt them trace the fabric I laid upon, they were so raw…worn down. This body didn't feel very much lived in, I think… I felt too aware of myself, too new to the sensations. I felt compressed as if being filled with what my brain determined as a feeling of emptiness. It filled me and coursed along and through my limbs. Emptiness. There was this fierce burden of a void within me, circulating in my stomach in an acidic swirl. My hands flew to my flushed face.

It didn't take me long to realize that I wasn't alone. My solitude was not as concrete…where was I? A fresh surge of panic overwhelmed me, shit. I rolled unto my side and I curled into myself, realizing how little clothing covered me. I laid there in silent panic, keeping the apprehension from spilling out. I laid there, for how long I wasn't sure, in the pretense of sleep. I had no bearing of anything but I plotted a sort of escape. Run blindly, I had nothing left, it all became too desperate. Common-sense chose not to make a friendly visit today. Everything that I was tightened and flustered, not knowing what route to follow next. I could only expect the worst. My breathing hitched, became shallow. It would be quick.

I gathered all the strength I could to heave my body forward. Gravity was not kind. The world was set in a frenzy of silhouettes, blurred light, and stale air. My body slapped hard against the cold floor. The lethargy of my legs struggled to pull me down as I forced myself to stand. Time seemed to stand still as I heard a quiet flutter. Large hands settled on my waist. "NO!!!" Instinctively I cried out, greedily pulling in air through my dry system. Frantically I fought with my hands, feet. The mounting fear filled my head, gave me buoyancy. I was so foolish.

Before I could even conjure a thought I was restrained. Slowly, my vision gained some clarity, the objects regained shape, the shadows unfurled and extended. The foreground regained solidarity. The hand wrapped around my right thigh came into focus…

"Please…" my own voice came out hoarse, unfamiliar. My arms were pinned across my abdomen by his other hand. Even a fool would not have mistaken the strength that emanated from this man. Piercing, clouded blue eyes burned into me. I buried my face into my shoulder, momentarily escaping the intensity. I could hear him speak, as if from a distance. Firm fingers cupped my chin, forcing me to look back in his eyes.

"Look, no harm will come to you. You do not have to worry." It was as if God came to me in those moments. I believed him, not the words but his tone of reassurance. My hands clutched at his long fingers in resignation. I could feel the sobs flutter around in my chest as they forced their way up my throat. It was disbelief, incredulity, fear, anger. I've understood those words before but now it was as though I finally grasped each. I could wrap my tongue around each syllable, taste the essence. The vacuum in the pit of my stomach caressed and sought me out. I fell face-first into the fabric of the bed, feeling cleansed as the cool tears stained my face. I cried with a cruelly free desperation. My fingertips wiped them up and listlessly I stared at the moisture as though experiencing emotion for the first time. Thick air escaped from my mouth with each diminishing sob of absolution, emptiness, freedom. Whatever it was that coiled me up inside was loosening.

"You've been asleep for almost two days." During my abandonment I had completely forgotten his presence. My palms were damp…I was only wearing a shirt. Unease built within me. I attempted to speak, do something. If only the words would come, the pictures and words floating around would align and make sense. It hurt to breathe. With each thought I could feel that pitched thrill extending its fingers into the recesses of my mind. My forehead furrowed in confusion. I could feel the panic creep along my spine, spreading across my ears, settling in my cheeks. I couldn't recall seeing this man… He gazed at me with scrutiny. I felt disgusted by myself. I ran a hand across my bare thighs, searching for nonexistent fabric. I couldn't help but feel bared and inadequate when this man looked at me. It was as though he had seen every inch of me. I knew he had.

"Can you speak." It wasn't a question. I couldn't take the chance to expose how unhinged I was. I had to find the strength and composure that I didn't have. My head was full; filled with a fluid that made every moment of consciousness compress itself.

"What do you want me to say?" I hung my head heavily, picking at the invisible dirt beneath my fingernails. He sat completely stoic; every muscle and line in his body a rigid perfection.

He leaned forward, both our bodies almost touching. "I'm waiting," his expression revealed nice, even teeth. I closed my eyes, hoping the right words would flash before me. I tucked my legs beneath me, running my fingers along the exposed, smooth skin. I hoped my body could tell me something. Hopelessness gripped my insides, releasing a new flow of sobs. A wave of nausea tore me to pieces as I delved further into nonexistent memories. I was practically dry-heaving, struggling to rid myself of what was left in my drained stomach. My fingers brutally assaulted the thin sheets.

Warm fluid built up in my nasal passage; in a burning path, warmth began trailing from my nose to settle between my lips. Mechanically, my fingertips touched the moisture…blood. I rubbed the wetness between my fingers…the faintly metallic taste in my mouth began to register.

"I-I can't…" I clutched my head in exasperation. "Nothing- it won't come out." I watch as this man saw me break. I envisioned him seeing the death of a soul. And I believed I died in that moment; letting him see that there was worthlessness in this bone and flesh. I was nothing, and shamelessly he sat there unmoving. I hated that he saw me pathetically broken. I was left with a nothingness spearing into me, exposing the deficiency that was left. Abandon and shame caused my fingers to dig at the skin covering my thigh. He was still looking at me. I felt his hand entrap my restless fingers, at once stilling them.

"All right then." His long, lean body rose, then walked over to a nearby table. In a few moments he returned extending a cup-filled hand. I looked at him flabbergasted, but my arms instinctively took the glass. He settled into a nearby chair, looking at me expectantly. The cool glass enticed me to rotate it between my clammy hands. After a long glance at him I took a sip. Water… my mind recalled. The cool, crisp moisture flowing over my thirsty tongue forced me to greedily lap up the liquid. I almost choked after the second gulp.

Afterwards, I could only look at the empty glass. Replenished, but not restored completely. He was still staring at me. I peeked at him from the awkward angle that I sat at. He was gorgeous, eerily so. Strong features, hooded eyes, straight nose, thin lips. Long, blond hair. Slowly, I brushed back the coarse hair falling into my face. I quivered at the unadulterated wave of intimidation that flowed from him. I wondered how much of me he had seen. An overwhelming sense modesty overtook me.

Self-consciously, I began searching myself as inconspicuously as I could to escape his never faltering gaze. I only wore a dress shirt…a man's dress shirt. As if on their own accord my fingers began to redo the buttons to cover up my partially exposed breasts. I then began to wonder if I had been violated; my thighs instantly glued themselves together as soon as the thought made its escape. Each time I attempted to pull the shirt down to cover up more leg, it only managed to ride up in the back, exposing the sides of my thighs. Shit, he was still looking at me. Why was he…I remembered the dried blood on my face. I moistened a shirt sleeve with my tongue…

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	3. When life gives you lemons

A/N: Okay guys this is chap 2 sorry it took a while to update. I hope you enjoy! I am also creating a music playlist for this fanfic, I will put a link up here as soon as possible.

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**Chapter 2**

**"When life gives you lemons…"**

"I found you wondering along Colden Street." He quietly began detailing the state he found me in. I hated this cool reserve he had; he drew from it like he had a damn reserve of it up the ass. I would love to see it when shit hit the fan for him. I could smile at that. I had no idea from where my annoyance was surfacing, but it felt good all the same. At the moment I wanted to find anything that would replace what I was feeling or the complete lack of it. It was that same restlessness that caused me to uncontrollably pace the floor. I fruitlessly rattled my brain for names, faces, something that could alleviate this state of limbo. I wanted a name, a taste of something… at least my own name. I could live with that, all I craved was a sense of identity.

"This is fucking unbelievable." I was utterly exasperated. I drove my fingers through my hair. "I-it's like there is nothing there. It's blank. I feel like at any second now I'm going to wake up." My eyes closed in frustration. I wouldn't let myself cry again. "But I open my eyes and I'm here still. I'm sick of feeling so helpless. I can't take it, it's too much." I could only stand there wrapping my arms around my body trying not to feel so alone. I looked at him. For the past hour or more I had been ridiculed and broken down by this man. He only looked at me with little more than suspicion; this mental sparing with him only left me further worn out. I wasn't hiding anything. At least I didn't think I was hiding anything. I let my eyes take me about the room. I still reveled at how my perceptions fluctuated at a single moment.

The modest room only held a small bed, a few chairs and a table, a painting on the white, bare walls along with a desk and a filing cabinet. My eyes finally settled on him… Eric, he had told me his name was Eric. He wore a simple dark colored shirt with dark cotton slacks and shoes. He was completely unflinching (and yes it was hot). His mannerisms were so strange, even to me, someone who was dumbfound to strangeness. He held himself in a way which made it feel as though he filled up the scant room or became it. I couldn't help but gawk, for lack of a better word, how the shirt stretched over his nicely toned muscles and showed off the strength in his arms. I too became aware of how closely I was being assessed; that all too familiar bout of self consciousness made itself known. "I don't know anything okay! I'm not lying to you. And stop looking at me like that!" I even managed to shock myself with my own little outburst. I didn't miss the fleeting smirk that went across his face. "Sorry," I began threading my fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…It's just that – I can't."

He seemed to have picked up on the oncoming hysterics. Every second left me uneasily sensitive to how patient he was. "I can tell you what I know." He got up from his seat and approached with what I could only identify as with caution. My breath hitched instantly and I struggled to breathe. If anything that nosebleed would start up again, oh hell. He was so close, I could make out each nonexistent pore in his face; his skin was even perfect. "I can tell that your body was extremely well taken care of," his hands began to slide around my shoulders. I didn't dare breathe. "Despite how I initially came across you…not a single mark on you," his voice held a tinge of curiosity.

His fingers quickly found the increasing pulse at my neck. He eased my neck back to examine me further. "Good teeth, susceptible nourishment, decent weight." He assessed me as though I was a block of meat and he had spent his days appraising half-naked women with disinterest. If only I saw disinterest, there was something far more sinister that left me gaping; I could do nothing but brace my hands against his biceps. That was the only shield I could afford my body. His eyes studied mine aggressively; his hands were now resting on my abdomen. A knot was forming in my belly, I licked my dry lips. My hands were starting to become clammy again. I had the feeling as though he was trying to intimidate me.

A pitiful laugh escaped my throat, "Well can you conjure up a name then?" Wow, pathetic. In earnest I began to back away from him, but I could only escape as far as the wall could let me.

The intensity of his stare only managed to pin me in place. "This was the only article I found on your body." He let a silver anklet dangle from the tip of his fingers. Eagerly, I reached forward and grasped the cool metal in my hand. My fingers drifted over the embossed letters leisurely; all at once I was overcome by the sensation that I was tied to this piece of metal.

I-R-A.

"Is- is," I looked at him anxiously. "Is this…my name?" I finally felt I had the voice to speak and it was as though this was the most purely exceptional gift I could ever receive. I could feel the rivers preparing to make their way from my eyes. I felt as if any minute now the piece of jewelry would begin to solve all my problems.

"Yes, I believe it is." His broad shoulders rounded and leaned in closer to me. I felt drawn to this man in every way imaginable. It was magnetic; it seemed his body always found a way to gravitate into the personal space I had put in place. But as much as I fought with myself into a sort of repulsion I found my will deteriorate with each second.

"Ira," the fluidity of each syllable of the word – my name - was intoxicating. A brief moment of incredulity passed over me. "That's good right?" I looked up at him, as a child would look for approval. I shuffled away from him and off the bed and quietly padded about the room. My fingers began to rub the tender skin across my left wrist, silently musing over the tattooed skin. Four perpendicular wavy lines creating a circular shape, more like rays surrounding a sun. I soon began to wonder about my past life, what type of person I might be or was; who might be looking for me at this moment. So many questions began to manifest and revolve around my head. "Do you think that someone was trying to kill me?" That was certainly a question on the bottom of my list.

"That could very well be a possibility. It is something that I am looking into." All at once his gaze became even more intensified. I had the feeling he was keeping something from me but I let the notion escape me.

We spent the next few moments evaluating the other quietly. I loved the way we fell into those silent lapses; as much as I knew he wanted to "figure me out" he was reserved and patient, I greatly appreciated that he chose not to press me any further. "Is there someplace that I can get…"

The door gently inched open. A tall, voluptuous blonde walked in with a wry twist to her lips. It seemed surprise flitted across her eyes as she stared past Eric to look at me. After a few seconds of an unnerving sweep of appraisal of my body, "I see this one's up." A wicked smile now pressed against her lips, "Aren't you just the cutest little lost thing, I could just eat you all up."

"Pam," immediately the tensed air around us began to dissipate. It was obvious the tone in his voice called her to a pause. Her pale face became taut. "Pam, this here is Ira." He let his eyes wander over to me, "Ira this is Pam, a close business colleague and companion of mine." Companion? That certainly was left up to the mind and train of thought at the moment. "Now Pam is going to take good care of you, aren't you Pam? Take you someplace to get you cleaned up."

Wordlessly she inclined her head, motioning for me to trail after her. "Eric, umm…thank you." I didn't wait for him to reply, I worked hard to catch up to her taller frame. She was waiting for me as I made my exit. The change of atmosphere and the tiny hall was enough to leave me momentarily queasy.

That smile was still plastered on her face, someplace between outright distaste and sarcasm. I couldn't tell if that was her tolerance face or her every day face, nonetheless it still made me smile or want to. "Well, I can only tell what Eric has told you about our little fine establishment." So this was her kind of small talk? I don't know it was the obvious forced pleasantry or her that unsettled me so much.

"I don't believe he did." I moved sluggishly, it didn't seem that she minded my lethargic gait and I was grateful for that. My eyes darted erratically, attempting to soak up as much as my surroundings as possible. I don't think I paid much attention to her soft patter.

"…fine establishment _*laughs*_… Fangtasia. We get all kinds of characters, it's pathetically human some of the lot…" I was completely disinterested. She wore a pair of black, knee-high gladiator sandals over dark, metallic leggings that clung to her like a second skin. On top she was covered by flimsy dark blouse with silver sequins underneath a tightly cropped leather jacket. I almost walked into her as she came to a stop.

"Well, here we are." She walked into a storeroom. A shower was in the far corner. Nothing too special, nothing but shamed modesty. "Go ahead and get freshened up. I'll give you a few of my things to wear." The tip of her tongue ran over her full lips making way for a sickeningly smug smile, "I can tell Eric's shirt has been working a little hard." I suppose that gave her an excuse to run her fingers along my shirt collar and across the skin covering my collarbone. I flinched at the cool, but uninvited touch. She removed her hand obliviously, "Now go on, you'll be so much better after you get some color back in you and something to eat." She turned away, calling over her shoulder "I'll be outside."

*

I wasn't the most extraordinary thing. I stared back at my naked body in the mirror. I didn't feel any attachment; I lived in here beneath the skin, the worries. Unadulterated detachment. I didn't know how to register seeing myself. Dark skin, medium brown. Smooth, supple limbs. No, maybe a little thin. My face held very strong features, full lips, wide eyes; a mole above the arch of the left brow. Long coarse hair, framing my face, went past my shoulders. I felt like a woman staring back at a child. I nosed around the closet, procuring a towel, soap, and miraculously some shampoo. The water sweetly pelted my skin and with each bead that hit me I felt a little nerve of anxiety disappear. I unraveled and for once in the short four or more hours I felt at peace, not totally but more content. More importantly I could think more clearly, go over questions I should have asked or needed to ask.

I didn't totally trust Eric, but he hadn't done any incriminating deeds that I could think of. Pam, she was something else. I had the inkling she was on "best behavior," she clearly disliked me or kind of. Whatever. I began to towel dry my hair. At an awkward twist I caught sight of my left shoulder blade in the mirror. I had a birth mark, it a copper-like coloring; oddly, it was the same shape and design as my tattoo… my finger tips ran over the spot which an unsettlingly distinct degrees cooler than the rest of me. My teeth tugged at my bottom lip.

Barely towel-secured, Pam stormed in with all her pale elegant glory. A smile and garment in hand. "Don't you look all wide-eyed and revived? Here you go." I cradled the clothes in my arms. "Can you make it back? I've got to run out for a while."

"Umm, yeah sure thing." She turned as if to leave, "Uh Pam, thank you. You know you both - uh – you both and Eric. I really appreciate it."

"Nothing to it. Nothing in this world is free; I'm just paying my little piece."

I gaped after her, "Well, thanks anyway." I quickly dragged on the skimpy underwear and slipped the dark green dress over my head. Well at least the dress fit.

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	4. What a Fang

A/N: First, I really want to really thank those of you that have read or continued to read this (especially those that have taken the time to review! Much love). This chapter is a bit longer than the others (yay). I hope those who enjoy like where this is going, I am doing my best to thoroughly work through the plot so updates will not be as frequent. Any questions, concerns, tips feel free to let me know.

Also, I've posted a music playlist link on my authors page to go with this fic. So take a looksy when you get a chance!

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**Chapter 3**

"What a Fang"

I hesitated at the door, contemplating whether I should knock or not. I went with my first instinct. Timidly, I eased the door open not sure what to expect so I waited patiently. Eric smoothly flipped his cell phone shut as soon as my body filled the door frame.

A trace of a smirk darted across his smooth lips. "Are we quite better now?"

"I'm not too sure, I guess as good as it's gonna get." A soft chuckle rumbled in his throat. I pondered on it a moment more. "Yes, I do feel much better."

"And I can only imagine the kind of appetite you've worked up. Go ahead, take a seat." I did as I was told. "Feel free to ask anything."

I settled into myself a bit. Gooseflesh began to form where his hands had touched me and now from the chilled, circulating air. My lips began to move, attempting to form a coherent sort of sentence. "You said before that I might be in danger, correct?" Although my obvious thoughts were to cringe away from even the mere inclination, I knew soon after that it would be a fact I might have to acknowledge.

"Yes, I did." I was beginning to detest his few word replies. I had the inclination that he was testing the cloudy waters about me. A deep unsettling presence formed at the pit of my stomach, as if to forewarn me not to be too at ease with his cool demeanor.

"Have you notified any kind of authorities…I –eer- you have, haven't you?" It had been niggling at me over and over. My situation was a little odd and, one way or the other, but I was going to get to the bottom of it. I might as well have been looking at my captor this entire time. Shit, you wouldn't take this bitch down without a fight. A soft knock came at the door.

"Excuse me," he said with an exquisite show of politeness. He was across the room in a few strides. Uncertainly, a medium built man emerged. He was a bit overweight, his stomach's bulge slightly hanging over the waist of his pants. He was certainly far less magnificent in comparison to Eric, I noted to myself. "Ira, this is Dr. Rick Dalton," Eric introduced us. The man gave me a slight nod of acknowledgement. His eyes were averted, barely making contact with either mine or Eric's. His discomfort was even more blatantly apparent.

From my initial observation, Dr. Dalton appeared to be in his mid to late thirties. His mousey brown hair had already begun to show signs of thinning. His skin was lightly flushed; he had soft, unremarkable features. Despite his seeming short-comings, his skittish behavior sort of made him pleasant, in a way, to look at. He eventually extended a clammy hand as though he were unaccustomed to the mere thought of an act with a degree of civility.

"I suppose this is to reassure her here that she's in one piece, as the saying goes." This last comment was directed towards the good doctor, a smile transformed Eric's normally austere expression. I take that back, this man was incapable of anything as mundane, that shit was a sneer.

I wiped the extra moisture from Dr. Dalton's hand unto the side of my dress inconspicuously. The doctor turned towards the much taller blond. I trailed over to the bed and perched at the very edge. I cleared my throat to ease up a little of the awkward silence, "Thank you, Dr. Dalton." I was utterly dense at the moment but I hadn't forgotten manners.

"No please, Rick." He cleared his throat, uncomfortably and looked at me as though contemplating whether to touch me or not.

"Okay then, Rick it is." He looked back at Eric as though the fear of God were put in him. Eric lightly nodded. I mustered up what must have been the weakest smile in the world. He quickly began what I suppose was a "routine" checkup. I coughed and inhaled when asked, occasionally following a plump finger when asked. I could see tiny beads of sweat forming across his brow and soon felt the suppressing weight of his presence. His hands fumbled a few times, but I paid little attention to that.

Eric's eyes never left me. The scrutiny to which the Rick's ministrations were under was unbearable, even for me. The stethoscope made one last sweep across my chest as Eric's wordless exit from the room was barely audible. In that instant Rick expelled a breath he seemed to be holding his entire life. At once he was at ease, slipping the cuff up my left arm. The device inflated.

"So Rick, you seem to be a pretty nice guy." I could've sworn up and down a fresh flush washed over his face and neck.

"Well I don't think I could say that. Yeah I do right by mine." From there on we fell into an excited banter. He had a sweet southern accent, reminding me of a splash of cool water. Our conversation streamed out without any constraint; I didn't feel lied to, or maybe even evaded. He was anything and everything imaginably sweet. His shy peculiarity made him selfless, so he was a great listener.

"So how long have you been acquainted with Mr. Eric? Yeah, I didn't catch a last name," I laughed out light-heartedly. His reaction totally shot me off bearing; it was as if I had completely emasculated him.

"Hmmm, not that long." He rounded his shoulders and began jingle his equipment uncertainly.

"Oh gosh, Rick. Not you too. I've been getting this mystery bullshit all night." My hands flew up in exasperation. "Come on!"

"You ain't one of them fangbangers, are you?" He sucked his teeth and eyed me suspiciously. "I'm doing this as a favor 'kay? Now, you better hush down before one of them," he was literally scraping for words, "_things_ hear. I told myself this shit won't worth it. I don't ask any questions, that was the deal. He helped me out a while back, so now he's come collecting…" I was wholly caught off guard by that. I didn't know how to even comprehend the way to digest that tidbit of information.

"Wha- what are you talking about? You're not making any sense." I couldn't help but feel dense on my part. I think I was still reeling from the whole 180 change.

"Look, I can't do much for you right now bu- but I'll do what I can. If you want out… I've seen what young girls look like when they let them such on 'em. My momma would roll over in her grave..." He wasn't talking to me anymore, he was going someplace in his head that had him scratching at his forearm and polishing his teeth with his tongue.

"Rick Rick. Listen," I practically was yanking at his arm to get drag him back to the present. "He's helping me."

"He's a vampire! Fuck, you can't…I trust one as far as I can throw it. That shit ain't right." I was speechless. Instantaneously, that panic began creeping its way up and throughout me. My hands began to shake and that out of body feeling began to overwhelm me. My lips were a little too dry. "Sorry. Look don't be afraid, if you want I'll…I'll get you someplace 'kay?"

I shook my head franticly. "I don't have anywhere. He's, he's helping me…" I began to feel like I was training myself to spew out what I wanted to believe. Eric had never once hinted at his plans for me. I could only hold unto what I felt in my heart would happen, since I hadn't been given any kind of legit reason to fear for myself. I only had my instincts and as soon as I began to relay on that, I knew at once that had deserted me too.

"Look, I can't do anything for you unless… Unless you want me to do it." He squeezed my hand reassuringly.

It's not as far-fetched as a mind as fresh as eight hours tops could conceive of. What he said made sense. Vampires, totally fictitious correct? He was so adamant about it I didn't find the heart to contradict him. I picked through my shredded thoughts, it made sense. I suppose it felt right. The concept wrapped around my mind repetitiously forcing me to accept it as truth.

"Rick, I really don't know how to say this to you. I'm not even quite sure how to accept any of this but I'm afraid I'm going to have to, aren't I?" He didn't answer me. He certainly didn't have to, as soon as I said those words, it was a kind of confirmation in itself. I began walking about, stretching my too anxious legs.

"I can't tell you he is a terrible man," his face severely contorted itself at the word _man_. "Sorry. I would be lying to you if I said I was in any kind of danger, Rick. So that's it. I can't tell you that I am being held here against my will or that I am being threatened bodily harm." Whoop there you go; I saw this bit of "revelation" as a great feat mentally patting myself on the back. "I might have my own concerns and suspicions, but I will not lie to you about something like this. My conscience won't let me." I clasped my hands together earnestly. All the while I was hoping this man was a complete lunatic, but then again we're in a room and alone… So yeah, about that.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Like you too, I have my conscience." He was back to the Rick I had met almost an hour ago. All doctor-like and the thick accent receding only a little. "'It just doesn't seem right to me. I don't think I can just go on home and sleep right, leaving you here. If anything happens to you…" He began rearranging the contents of his bag.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, okay." That was certainly half-hearted.

"Come on, stick out your arm. I'm just going to have some blood work done on you." He proceeded to wrap the elastic around my forearm, tapping at a sleeping vein. I fidgeted only a little as the needle broke the skin. "That's a good girl." I watched captivated, as he filled three vials with my blood.

"That wasn't all that bad." I looked at him expectantly. After a few empty minutes I realized that I wasn't going to get anything else from him. "So that's it, Rick? You just go all doom and gloom on me then clam up?"

"Look," his eyes darted around the room for a second and his voice dropped a pitch, as though he recalled he was lying on the bosom of the enemy. "All I know is that those sons-of-bitches are real as you and me." He shook my arm for emphasis, something of the dramatic affect I suppose, instantly I knew he was a real story teller when he got worked up. "Turns out they've been under our noses for quite some time now. A few years back they decided to crawl from under some God forsaken rock and now the bastards have worked their way into everything. Even got as far as vying for some Vampire civil rights bullshit… Some of those fuckers are as old as shit. But you watch your back miss. They are nothing but snakes in the grass." I knew he was only trying to vent. He continued to rant until compelling himself into a sort of shamed silence.

"So what am I going to do, Rick? I can't do anything with what you've told me but scare myself half to death."

"Just give me a second," he fumbled in his pockets withdrawing a worn leather wallet. "Look here, this is my card. If you need anything – you look at me, if you need anything you will call me no matter what. I will do everything I can to get to you, 'kay? If anything, I'll make up some kind of excuse to come see you in a couple o' days. I'll put a rush on your blood work." His fingertips sent comforting sparks into my hands as he pressed the crumbled paper against my skin.

My head bobbed up and down furiously. I wiped at a tear that escaped down the side of my face. "Oh gosh – eeer – I'm starting to leak," I exhaled in a small laugh. "Thank you. I- I'm really grateful."

As though forgetting something he quickly patted at his neck then removed a necklace neatly hidden by his shirt neck. "Here, I want you to have this. It's made of real silver." I looked at him stupidly. "They don't like stuff like that. I hear it's pretty _fatal_." The last word both had us rolling along, although I don't believe he was half as amused as I was. It seemed as though his ego made him grow at least two or three inches. I could tell he felt as though he had me decked out with a complete artillery unit that sat on my shoulder. Lucky for him, I felt as diminutive as ever and I looked at it as two options: a) stare somebody down with the stink eye and throw a bible in the opponents direction (it's a pretty thick one, mind you) or b) bust out a stick and a couple of stones.

"Another thing, don't look 'em in the eye. The worst thing is to have someone hold true power over you, or even the illusion of it." He was far more uncompromising about this as he relentlessly drilled it in my mind.

Fifteen minutes after, Eric made his entrance into the room. In a quick motion I stowed away Rick's "gift" into my bra. I had no idea whether or not he saw, most likely he did. Immediately I felt ashamed, mostly it was the intense feeling of betrayal. I looked over at my co-conspirer uneasily. "Eric, I really want to thank you for having Dr. Dalton look after me."

"No problem on my part." He turned towards Rick. "So if you're done here you can move on. You know better than I that she needs her rest, she's had a couple of rough days."

A surge of panic hit me as I saw Rick prepare to take his leave. I behaved myself at once. "Ira, it was a pleasure meeting you. Make sure to get plenty of rest, fluids. You showed mild dehydration but otherwise I believe you'll be fine." He squeezed my hand to emphasize his hidden message. I returned a silent nod. Eric left the room with Rick for a few minutes only to return with a smile that labeled him as _my name is Smug Bastard._

We were now alone and I had the biggest forced smile plastered on my face, I could only attempt to act "normal". "I come bearing gifts." His face was so devastatingly handsome and genuine it left me gaping for words. He rested a white plastic bag on the chair Rick had been sitting on earlier. I tucked a stray lock behind my ear as I peered into the bag. Food, I practically salivated at the thought. My stomach began to feel as though I had a small child living in there. I could feel the all too forgotten hunger make itself known, but I was saved the embarrassment of not having it verbally declare itself.

"Gee, thanks. I hadn't realized just how hungry I was." My pearly whites beamed up at him as my hand soothed my belly in a rubbing motion. I blindly picked up the first thing my fingertips brushed across; I sure wasn't wasting any time.

"You're welcome. I wasn't quite sure what you might prefer so I got a variety."

I nimbly peeled the paper that stood in the way of me and my bout-to-be victim. It was by far the most gloriously alluring thing, well second counting Eric that I'd ever seen. The BLT was exquisitely crafted, lightly toasted white bread, crisp bacon, the works. Lucky for me though, I rustled around to find two more of the sandwiches lounging at the bottom. I ate one and a small piece of the other then a couple swigs of iced tea before declaring myself stuffed. My skin heated at the discovery that my little display of savagery was Eric's current entertainment. His eyes were intently fastened unto my face.

I tried to place as much space between us by shuffling over next to the table, placing as much space between us as possible. Unfortunately, he trailed right after my heels. He had his heavy arms crossed, cocking his head cavalierly to look at me expectantly. I leaned back on the table, attempting to look at him as equally at leisure. I didn't expect him to walk over to me and place both arms on opposite sides of me. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No." I was beginning to realize that I was a terrible liar. At once I grasped what he was doing as he stared down his nose at me. Our differences in height almost made it a little too ridiculous for me to be intimidated, which sent me into a fit of giggles. He looked greatly offended by this.

He brought his massive stature down to my level, glaring into my eyes determinedly. My breath was caught and I couldn't deny the obvious attraction my body had for his. I ran a doubtful tongue across my dry lips. "What do you want from me, Eric?"

Eric pulled in his face closer to mine, barely an inch away from mine. "Haven't I been good to you up until now, Ira?" His large hands cradled my hips as he rested his lips against the erratic pulse at my neck. My eyes shut as I felt his tongue tenderly flitted across my bare skin. "I don't think we should keep secrets from each other," his fingers tightened just a little more. "I can be very good to you, if need be. All you have to do is just tell me." Eric was a passionate kisser, I soon found myself becoming lost in him. He was sweet, demanding, and thorough. I was clumsy, but he was a patient man. He delved into subsistence unearthing the woman within me. I enjoyed the completion I that I felt in his arms. All I knew was that in that moment I was allowed to escape my worries, my inhibitions for but a second but I knew regardless of what might happen afterwards I couldn't bring myself to regret.

He was tenacious in his ministrations, even as bold to lift the hem of my dress to run his hand up my thigh. His kiss deepened and became more aggressive, I could feel it from the hair follicles on my head right through to the tips of my toes. I decided that if I wanted what was left of my dignity now would be the moment; there could be no persuasion of him later on. I wrapped my hand around his fingers and gently slid his hand down towards my knee. I reluctantly broke the kiss, while I could trust myself. This sent him into a frenzy, he gently nipped at my lips. "Please… no." Another one of his perfections, he could take rejection in stride. He peeled away from me slowly, verbalizing of how unfortunate blah blah blah. He did have a ginormous smile on his face though.

"What are you hiding from me?" All bullshit was now cut aside. His tone sent chills up my spine and I admit that he was beginning to frighten me a little.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Eric." I began to rearrange my clothes as dignified as I could. I couldn't meet his eyes; I felt that I wasn't the kind of woman you could take to the boom boom room in the back of a bar. But at this moment I was really beginning to doubt myself, my integrity but I wouldn't let him in on that.

"If you aren't going to cooperate I'll get what I need, regardless of your concession. Whatever you're hiding I suggest for your best interests you do what I ask. It's not as if I haven't seen all of you before." My fists balled tightly, I wanted to slap that smiling face so badly but fear of him crushing me kept me in check.

I was disillusioned in that moment. I felt regret, I felt cheap. He managed to devastate what was left of me in mere seconds, how was I so foolish? He was ruthless in his tactics, going as far as to _seduce_ me in order to meet his objective; I looked at him with contempt. I now knew how not to subject myself to his manipulations. I turned away and with shaking fingers gently retrieved the contents I had earlier placed into my bra. I quietly placed the items on the table. "I am not afraid of you, Eric. I don't have anything else and you could have but asked, instead of making me look like a fool," I hissed. I wouldn't make any attempt to conceal my anger.

"Where's the fun in that? And as I recalled you were as equally as _foolish_ as I was, enjoyed it just as much as I did."

"What exactly is it that you want from me Eric? I'm sick of the games just tell me what exactly it is I should be telling you. If you want to get to the bottom of this stop bullshitting me and get it over with!" I relished the seething rage building within me.  
"You know what," he seemed pleased by my outburst; "I like you. You're unafraid aren't you? You've got a backbone, for a human woman. But I really don't think that'll do you good here, right now." He knew that I knew what he was.

"Let me ask you one thing. Am I here of my own free will? If I decided that I wanted to leave at this moment right now, you would let me?"

"Does it really matter? You don't have anywhere else to go and I wouldn't be a what you say - ah - the good Samaritan if I let you just walk out here and be susceptible to the needs of the streets now would I?" He walked over to the bed and gracefully laid his length across the mattress. He appeared to be in deep thought. "No, I wouldn't."

I folded into myself, placing most of my weight unto the table. I wrapped my arms around myself desperately trying to abate the emptiness. I looked at him incredulously. "That's it then? So I know what you are, you think I am hiding something from you, only God knows what. What now? Where do we go from here? Are you gonna just keep me back here like some inbreed mistake and wait for me to poof just magically recall all the amazing juicy details I need to say to your grace?"

He was on his feet in a flash which had me cringing. He showed me what he really was and he was unforgiving in anger. "You want it forthright? You ending up on my doorstep _is _my business. Your people do it differently, but when it comes to my interests it's my obligation to right it. As long as we keep you being here and the circumstances of which I found you quiet all will be well, for both me and you. That's the bottom line, that's the finality of it." I clearly did not miss his blatant threat, I was certainly no fool.

He gave me a minute to absorb the significance of his words. "It was not my intention to keep the truth from you but I did what I felt best. I had to make sure you weren't under any kind of pretences, I believe you when you say you don't remember," I perked up a bit at this. "The blood on you wasn't human, so automatically I felt it fell under my jurisdiction. The blood on you wasn't familiar to me, so naturally I don't like the fact that I'm ignorant to this. It's something I plan on finding out."

I suppose I was more elated with the fact that he wasn't planning on killing me. I discovered I did have just a little gratitude left for him. "Well I believe I should be saying thank you, right? Although I do think at this moment you are the most unbearable ass, yes I am willing to die at your hands by saying that because I _so_ do believe it is worth it, I am thankful for what you have done for me." I earned a smile from this. "It might have been for self-motivated means but I do appreciate it."

"I suspected Dalton to be _Boy Dickless Wonder_."

I almost choked, "What?" This came out of nowhere.

"You two had a pretty good talk didn't you?" He tapped his ear emphatically, "Exceptional hearing." All I could say was _oh_. At once he made himself all friendly and approachable which scared the hell out of me even more; I think I preferred the fang-bared Vampire better. I think that was the first time I had actually acknowledged the fact that he _is_ a vampire. It wasn't as though he went about in fanged glory, he wore what he was, it was assumed. I admired him for that, which led me to find I wasn't as immune to his effect as I thought I should be. He was absolutely magnetic and I let myself be pulled in.

**


	5. Buttered Bread

A/N: Okay, I planned on doing at least two updates this week BUT at the moment I am in like Lady Gaga mode in preparation for her concert this Friday (April 3). Which means me brainwashing myself to her music until the final day. Ooooh, I'm like so excited!!! So hopefully I'll have another post by the end of the weekend. Wish me luck.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**"Buttered Bread"**

When I slept I felt as if I could imagine myself anywhere, being anyone I chose. Unfortunately, I found that even in this temporary solace what little peace I could find managed to escape me. I was constantly aware, everything would eventually catch up to me accompanied by an emotion that would leave me hallow. Realizing that I wouldn't succumb to sleep I began silently pacing as my mind rapidly pounded. I found that I became slightly erratic during the nights; my mind functioned as though it were reacting to remnants of pieces of memories in contrast to the fact that I was practically a clean slate.

The only recreational activity I could afford myself was to stare mindlessly at the bare walls. Fortunately for me, Eric had been hospitable enough to leave me what he considered "chick lit" à la Anne Rice, Christopher Moore, and even a little Jane Austen. _Thank you kindly for salvaging what's left of my sanity_. In the throes of my sarcasm and distress a soft knock sounded at the door followed by a sweet-faced woman peeking in.

"Oh, sorry I didn't know you were up," she stumbled out apologetically.

"No no, it's okay. Eh, I was beginning to question whether or not anyone or anything for that matter existed outside these four walls." I let out a nervous laugh. She laughed as well and it was one of those unsure, agitated laughs.

"Oh yeah," she ran the palms of her hands along the sides of her jeans. She quickly extended her hand, "My name is Redd, Eric asked me to pop in and keep an eye on you."

"Ira," I shook her hand and for the first time I found a genuine smile finding its way across my face.

"Look, if you just give me a minute I'll be back in. I was just going to take a break and head on outside for a few minutes." Her ponytail flopped about as her head swished animatedly towards the door.

"Wow, outside. I can't even think of or remember… Hey is it cool with you if I might join you?"

She considered this thoughtfully for a moment. "Sure thing, I guess that'll be fine."

I could tell she was a little unsure. "'Kay, just give me a few minutes to get ready then." I was ready in under ten minutes. I took a quick shower and pulled on a fresh pair of black shorts and a pearl colored v-neck t-shirt.

*

We sat silently on the plaza's sidewalk, a little apart from Fangtasia. I stretched my legs out reveling in the sound of the bottom of my flip flops grinding the light gravel. I soaked up the heat of the sun greedily, not quite too sure when I'd get another chance. My skin became flushed and I pulled life in with each breath. I was happy to be alive. I closed my eyes, just listening. For once, I could listen to find something other than the silence. A car would now and again drift by, I could even tune into Redd's faintest shifts. The air carried on it a heady mixture of scents, no particularly distinguishing brand. I loved it, the little taste of freedom that I could manage.

I was especially sensitive to Eric's grasp on me; I felt way in over my head with the forced loyalty that I let bind myself to him.

"It's going to be good weather today, you know? Damn, it all ready feels - ah, just look at me wasting it already, we're not gonna see it this good for a while. It's only gonna get hotter by the day." She pulled on her ponytail, letting her thick, curly strawberry blond hair settle about her shoulders. She reached into her pocket, retrieving a pack of cigarettes.

"Hmm, yeah don't tell me. I'm trying to quit you know. I feel like a ciggy fiend, I just tell what time of day it is by the craving," she chuckles, "right now I'm saying it's a little around noon-ish. Oh yeah! Let's look at the watch, quarter after eleven. Not too bad." She smiles and I can't help but be comforted.

"This is totally off subject, but I can count on one hand how many human's I've hung out with." Damn, I've already said too much.

"Really?" This seemed to have agitated her interest some.

"Yup," I've certainly might've said too much. "Long story, don't ask. Bad joke."

She waves it off and places the lit cigarette between her lips. "So last night Eric calls me up and says to me, mind you, the most I've ever heard him speak to me since my employment. He's like I've got a favor to ask, which means it's not exactly a favor, 'I've got a friend I want you to look in on.' Usually Pam's the one that makes face time with whoever, so I was like _shit_. Plus, he's like this is over time blah blah." She looks at me candidly, pulling on her cigarette to let a turret of smoke escape her lips.

"So how long have you known Eric?" She taps her cigarette to let the ashes loose. "He doesn't seem like the kind to have a knack for collecting _platonic_ human friends or whatever he calls us. You seem like a fairly decent girl to end up here," she bit down on her lower lip immediately after. "Sorry, that was out of line. Sorry about that."

"No no, it's okay." I knew she was going out on a limb by interrogating me, but I wouldn't betray her. I could see in her a lulled calm wanting to set over her. Regardless of the few feet separating us, I felt it wash over me. I reach out and touch her shoulder gently, envisioning calm and feeling my fingertips tingle as I willed it into her.

"Sometimes I forget to mind my own business, sorry. Please if I was out of place -."

"Like I said, it's okay. You know you've been the kindest person to me," I confessed quietly, my voice suddenly overcome with emotion. I cleared my throat, "But yeah, Eric I really couldn't call him a friend in exact words. I'm in need and he – he's helping me out. I can't say anymore than that. I suppose me staying here is a temporary thing, I guess we haven't really settled that yet."

"Okay, I understand." She quickly changed the subject, trailing off to ramble mainly about town gossip or little known facts according to her. She deliberately steered around talk of me, Eric, or Fangtasia for that matter.

"Did you have any other plans? I mean other than babysitting me; I still can't believe he did that. But, I guess there's putting nothing past him."

"Well, I was about to head out into town in a few, grab a little lunch. You know, yeah, maybe you could come along."

Eric technically didn't mention me leaving, hmm. "Yeah, Eric wouldn't worry about it. But I couldn't pay," I patted my pockets good-humoredly, "no money."

"It's okay, I'll pay. My ride is parked over there." She nodded in the direction. "The steel grey pick up. I'm just gonna text Keith I'm on my way out with some precious cargo." She nudged at my arm. "Keith's usually in and out in the days doing something or the other, usually maintenance. Yeah, he's your co-babysitter," she laughs easily. "But something tells me Eric wouldn't want some blue-balled dude alone with you for hours on end." I looked at her a little stunned.

"Just kidding." Her hands shot up protectively. "I know I have a terrible taste of what's funny and what's not." We walked hurriedly towards her vehicle, a '82 GMC model. It showed years of wear, as would be expected, but obviously had been taken care of devotedly.

She caught me looking at it admiringly. "Yeah, this is my baby Betty, after the pin up Betty Grable." She waited for a moment of recollection. "So yeah anyway, I bought her a couple months back from a friend for almost two hundred bucks. He was 'bout to make a move cross country but she wouldn't have made it. So I guess that was my little gain. It was kinda sorta a family heirloom, he didn't want to let her go but you know I was a close friend and I needed a car so there it goes."

I slid into the passenger seat, as she roared up Betty to life I let out a little cheer. "Hope you got your tetanus shot," she uttered as I dragged the door shut. "A joke. I'm taking you to the best little restaurant, it's a surprise. Trust me, you won't be disappointed."

I watched as the sunlight streamed in unto us. The light hit her beautifully, setting a glow to her skin, magnifying the freckles that were scattered across her upper arms, nose, and cheeks. "Oh my gosh I love this song. What! I can't believe you, the Carpenters? Next to God's laundry." She sang the next lines off key but sweetly.

_And the reason is clear._

_It's because you are here._

_You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen._

_I'm on top of the world lookin' down on creation._

_And the only explanation I can find._

Unexpectedly, I found myself singing along with the words.

We parked in front of a cutely juxtaposition restaurant called Stacey's Nook. I could smell the good smells pouring out of the little place. "Well surprise, surprise! This place right here is the best little hole in the wall restaurant that you'll come across in a ten mile radius. Yeah I could tell you were 'out of town' like myself. But yeah, before I could rub two spoons together I found myself practically living here. Trust me, you'll love it."

The interior was small but exuded an intimately familial air to it. It smelled wondrous, a heated blend of food fragrances melted with each other. The tingling sensation coating my skin magnified as I felt a need to gravitate to the few occupants. Electric waves seemed to waft from their own skins, creating a hazy effect in the air enveloping them. I immediately rubbed at my eyes which consequently sent Redd on a barrage of questions of concern.

"No, I'm okay. I promise."

We took a seat nearby the windows and a few minutes after a plump, probably early 30s dark skinned woman clad in a waitress uniform, reminiscent of the '50s, stopped by us. "I'll be with y'all in a second baby," she directed at Redd. She laid out two slightly worn menus for us and wandered over to her other waiting customers. The strange electricity threatened to overwhelm me, it left me feeling significant and radiating with a fire I couldn't place. I mentally beat it into a kind of submission in order to pay attention to Redd.

"Pick whatever you want, don't worry about the cost." She quickly delved into conversation as though teeming with a rack of information after years of silence. "I'm not what you can call a homebody or anything, most of my life I was just passing through. I could never get a chance to set roots… I was born in Colorado then my folks moved unto Ohio. After my pops died we couldn't settle it felt like. Me and my mom lived in Virginia, Florida, and North Carolina for a bit. It was mostly a few years of moving along the east coast. So I guess this is where I call home now," she brushed at the table. Her eyes were unmistakably heavier. "This is the one place I've stayed the longest, it feels home-ish."

She looked at me expectantly. Partially I didn't feel like releasing a miserable account of my situation. I was on the defensive side, on the fence of making "best friend."

Thankfully the waitress showed up with her pad in hand. "Hey, Bea! How's Charlie?" Redd practically beamed.

"Picking at my last nerve. If I hadn't divorced him already I think I might've served his ass the papers by now. Hey baby!" Her lips placed an audible smack against Redd's cheek. "Who's your friend?" She turned her attention unto me.

"This is Ira, a friend of mine. She's just passing through so I figure we'd spend some time catching up." I managed to give a feeble greeting in turn; I felt that I was still a little people shy. I was also kind of impressed at the quick fib though.

"So how long are you planning to stay?"

"Not very long. I need to get back as soon as I can." I swiftly offered.

"'Kay. So what can I get for you ladies?"

I voiced my indecision. "Well now," Redd exclaimed, "I guess I'll have the seafood platter with the crab boulettes, crab bites with a side of cornbread and onion rings. My friend here will have the Pan Fried Fish with a side of crawfish turnovers and shrimp bundles. Don't worry, you'll like it."

"What kinda drinks can I get for you?" Bea idly shifted from one leg to the other.

"Sweet tea."

"I'll have a coke, please." I handled the menu back to the waitress timidly. I was mentally preparing myself to tackle the hefty lunch.

"Not to worry about Bea, she's harmless. I felt it best, didn't want to tell your business like that." We fell into a good lapse of conversation after that, thankfully this was able to take the buzz out f my head. Being around her was pleasant at best and at such a close proximity I felt myself feeding from the light pulse that emanated from her. The subtly of it entranced me.

"Why do you do that?"

"What?" My eyes shot open.

"You like go off into your own world, you close your eyes and it looks like you've made God a little town right in there." She tapped lightly at her temple. She was already munching away at her onion rings. I began to wonder how gone I was or for how long for that matter. "Go ahead," she pushed the tackle box towards me. It was delicious, crisp on the outer layer but still retaining a little of the moisture underneath all the mixture.

"I guess it's a habit."

"Oh, it's just so adorable I didn't want to snap you out of it. I wanna ask you something. Sometimes, do you ever get the feeling like you can just meet somebody and tell their whole life right away, just summarize it up and guess how they came to this exact point in their life?"

I really did consider it, "I guess I can say that. But for my credulity I don't know, I don't even know myself that well. Instincts, I guess that's what we all live by."

She reached across the table to grasp my hand. The slow ebb became stronger and I let myself absorb it. "Me, I can't trust people." Bea approached us with her tray, momentarily breaking our conversation, to slide our drinks and food unto our table. "Thanks, Bea."

"Well, anyway," she took a bite. "Like I said most of my life I've been around. When I got out on my own I was even been homeless a few times. So for me I try to take everything in stride you know. Wow, I'm just talking a whole lot, aren't I? It's weird I feel like I've known you forever, it's just I don't keep a lot of friends for reasons I can't say. I feel like you're a good person, I just hope you're not in over your head, Ira. I know the feeling, trust me. God, I really shouldn't be saying this."

"No, Redd. Your concern isn't misplaced; you're not saying anything wrong to me. I definitely understand you; I'm coasting along as well until I know I can stand on my own. Trust me living in the back of a vampire bar is not by choice."

"Well yeah I can guess that much." She eased in a smooth laugh. "You just seem like a good person that's all."

"Ditto, I can say the same for you. I couldn't imagine you working at Fangtasia."

"Oh, whoa! That's a whole other story. I was in a bad place at the time and I felt it could only get bottom worse before it got better. I was at my bottom so I went in one day and I practically made a fool out of myself for that waitressing job. I guess Eric saw something in me and gave me a chance. God knows why. Remember what I was saying earlier about knowing someone in an instant? One look at Eric and I knew exactly the kind of hell he went through to be what he is today. He did the same for me, you know. He somehow guessed at how God awfully pitiful I was, I was desperate enough to do something stupid. In a way I guess he was protecting me of what I was becoming. No self-esteem, fresh out of a terrible relationship, and rebellious due to that."

I took a swig of coke. "Is it better?"

"It can only get better, honey."

"That place isn't where you want to end up. Everyone is so fucking vamp crazy it makes me sick. Whether it is pure unadulterated fascination or hatred, obsession is obsession. I never mix my work with my life. When I leave Fangtasia, I go home and then I worry about me. The pay is good so I work it. Now the people around here," her voice dropped an octave lower. "They have no like for it, so I keep my business to myself and all is good. They know what I do but as long as I keep it to myself then no fuss."

"It certainly feels all new to me, like all this madness around me only unfolded a day ago." That was a half fib it had only been three days.

"Well I know the feeling in that too. I find it that they are very a reclusive, self-motivated kind. Always be about your wits, they live for the gullible ones. You seem like a common sense girl. They're like any man that thinks he can break you in. Shit, it still amazes me how long some of them have been around. You can expect any other of 'em to be just as old as your great grandmother or even your first ancestor."

"Wow, can't trust anything that old can you?" I laughed giddily.

"Seriously though, I'll keep an eye out for you. As best as I can. We humans need to stick together, right? Plus, redheads don't have a knack for sticking around in that place." We both laughed at this. "Just be careful with Eric, okay?"

"What do you mean?" I took another sip nervously and pushed a few of the shrimp bundles into my mouth.

"It's just – it's different with a vampire, okay? I've only dated non-undead boys but hell I've heard plenty enough. They might be good people but do not think you can walk away with a clean slate. I can a sure you, it won't end you like you want it to. Don't invest feelings that you aren't sure is reciprocated, I think that you are a smart girl and I no doubt think that you know this as well. You don't play and get to walk out of it, I've seen the hard way out." She gripped my wrist gently. "Just make sure he does right by you."

"Why shouldn't he? He has given me his word; he doesn't take his word lightly."

"Surely that, I would never disrespect him, don't get me wrong. I could lose my job and probably more but his version of friendship or anything else that matters isn't as neat and clean as you might like it. Men like him; yes he is still a man regardless of how much they attempt to make themselves of superior cloth. They get what they want, he might not force you into anything but they are quite dangerous and relentless for that matter. You don't get to save your own stakes, no matter how deeply you have poured yourself in."

"I understand, Redd."

"Do you like him? That's none of my business but-"

I raised my hand lightly. "It's a reasonable thing to ask. I can't say that I don't like him. I haven't formed an exact opinion of him as yet but I can tell you apart from his intimidation tactics I feel quite safe with him." I surprised myself by how truthful I was.

This seemed to not abate whatever her inclinations were. "It's just that I don't want to see you in his collection of women. It's been so long that I can genuinely express how I feel and I feel as though I need to look out for you. You might not have seen how they are and how he is in that place, but it disgusts me to the core how base the lot of it can turn out to be. That kind of power is poison when it needs to be. Always be wary of what you are when it comes to his kind. They're like people, some will be good and some bad but in their essence they are what they are. They can't hide what they are or what they need for too long."

The worse imaginable pictures flitted through my mind. I had to go back to that place, I lived there and for how long the unforeseeable future would proclaim. "What about you? Has he been…" I couldn't finish my question, in fact I didn't know how to.

"No. I mean he might've but he wouldn't try anything or anything." She shrugged weakly.

"Are you afraid of him? Or of them in general?"

"No. But I keep myself wary. You shouldn't let yourself feel too safe."

"Thank you so much, Redd. I really needed this, someone to talk to."

"It's no problem. Anytime you need someone to just vent or chill or whatever."

"Or whatever." I repeated softly. "Well the lunch was good." I patted my stomach dramatically with a broad smile across my face.

She glanced at her watch. "I think we should be heading back right now." I shook my head in agreement. "Ira, I really hope that after this we can really be friends." She looked at me earnestly.

"Of course, I have very few friends, so one more would be good."

"Hey, Bea! I'm 'bout to head, could you wrap up a few slices of your pecan pie and send it over to Gracie?"

"Sure thing baby. You be safe, heading out now."

"'Kay." She gave the older woman a hug and we made our way outside.

**


	6. Fate's Bitch

I just wanted to thank those of you who've been reading all along. Thank you kindly for adding this to your alerts or favourites, but simply that you took the time to read. ^_^ I've worked really hard on it and it is appreciated (plus it makes me feel cool lol).

I've been meaning to update sooner but life's mudane tasks get in the way sadly. Updates will be getting less frequent although I will attempt to at least give longer chapters hopefully. This is partly due to a new piece I'm conjuring up in my mind. If anyone is interested and would like to see whatever else I am up to feel free to check out my author's page or find me on FictionPress under the same pen name.

Anyway! The Lady Gaga concert. Didn't happen! Yes I am a few degrees passed livid BUT I've had time to get over this since the show has been postponed until september. Yeah, I know. Like what will my life be like in september (thank you for the unnecessary stress but what a fan does is beyond me... In other words it better be a good ass concert!)

So yup...I think it is silly cheesy but hey! On my authors page I've posted a link of Ira's and Pam's outfit that they wear later on in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**"Fate's Bitch"**

I slid unto the warmed leather seat. I still carried the buzz that seemed to have attached itself to me. Gladly, soon the heady feeling was beginning to dissipate as I realized that it became easier to collect my thoughts as I detached myself from Stacey's Nook. "Ira, about earlier… Just don't say anything-"

"Redd, our little secret. I promise. Eric doesn't even have to know about today, if it were up to me." I turned my face into the sunlight.

She reached over and squeezed my hand lightly. "Thank you. Scouts honor. My lips are sealed," she made a zipping notion across her lips. I was beginning to question if her secrecy was due to friendly cautioning or out of pure fear of Eric's wrath. I had never witnessed a darker side to him and I really didn't want to even consider it.

The drive was easy, the sun had already dipped a little but brightness still remained. I leaned into the seat and began what I called my little meditation. My body fell into a rhythm that lulled me into calm, attempting to sort out the confusion that still rattled my conscious mind. "We're here. Sorry," she looked over at me skittishly. "The ride back always goes by too quickly."

I slid from Betty's bosom and looked at Fangtasia grudgingly and let myself trudge heavily towards the building. "Home sweet home," I said wryly. I caught Redd rolling her eyes. "You know what? I think I'll stay out here for a little bit more."

"Well I guess we could spare a little more time out here. Eric would kill me if I let you by yourself," she laughed a bit half-heartedly.

*

I was back in my prison. That's what it was beginning to feel like. _I needed music or… something_, I thought agitatedly as I began my pace of my confinement. I wasn't aware of Eric's presence until I obliviously slammed into him.

"I see that you're up." He had that smug bastard smirk across his lips. I looked down where his hands were still in place, curving around my upper arms. "I don't know how exactly I'm going to find you next time. You're wearing my floor down."

I tried to wrench free of his death grip, but to no avail did I achieve anything; I only managed to shimmy closer to him. "Well if you gave me something to do, then everything would be all teddies and gumdrops." His skin was a little flushed, possibly from a recent feed. I had pried and prodded Redd of all I could get out of her on our little day. His skin glistened with an otherworldly glow that had me captivated by him even further, if his height was only the least of my worries.

His fingers began to absent-mindedly stroke my arms, almost tenderly. "I can think of plenty of _recreational_ things you could do." He gave a sorry excuse of an innocent look. I swatted at him feebly, which he completely ignored. "Have you been a good girl?"

"When have I never, _dear_?" Whenever I was near him I felt a fever heat me and almost an uncontrollable urge to defy him with everything in me. I couldn't let him break me. I had no intention of that. That and the obvious attraction towards him warred within me, but as long as I had no idea of his intentions I wouldn't let myself be so easily so – _enraptured_ by him.

"I'll take that as a no, then." He let go of my arms and I retreated to the nearby table.

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about," I lied easily. "Anyway, I could at least blow off a little steam if I had somewhere to go. I could go out to the bar just this one time, please. I promise you wouldn't hear anything out of me for as long as you wanted." I began to plead almost in a desperate manner. "You wouldn't even know that I was there." That was a bold-faced lie, but I was willing to keep a promise for the sake of my sanity.

"I never saw you as the submissive kind. I don't like it on you."

"Well fuck you then." My hands quickly flew to my mouth in a pitiful attempt to swallow my words. They hung between us and I felt that I treaded a little too close to whatever it was that patched up our pathetic pretense of a friendship.

"Okay," he quietly paused, "under one circumstance." This was a surprise, I had to practically reign myself in from making more of a fool of myself. I really was afraid to trust him but at this moment he held a look as though he wanted to swallow me whole in one nip.

"Sure," I almost choked. "What?" This was completely unexpected and I was especially wary of that.

"You have to agree first." His expression was completely unreadable.

_Fuck that_, _hell no_. I wanted to spit his sorry ass deal back in his face but my little taste of freedom and people left me craving for more. "Okay, then." I felt that was my second mistake, I appeared too eager and he would now know just how to work me.

His response was a smile and a glisten in his eyes that he made no attempt to conceal; he was the devil in the flesh. I ran a worried tongue across my lips and I really was beginning to regret what I had gotten myself into.

"So are you going to tell me or what?" My fingers began to fidget nervously.

"You know," he cocked his head off to the side as though he were really contemplating. He knew what he wanted; he just liked to see me squirm beneath his thumb. "I'll think about it." I didn't want to press him any further. He closed in on the space between us so in the space of a breath. He leaned in and closed his eyes.

It scared the shit out of me at how completely rigid his body went, forcing me to suppress my breathing so not as to disturb the stillness. I was left marveling at the command he held over his body. Small, tight waves subtly rippled off him into me. The longer our skin remained connected, the more intense each wave became. Naturally, I felt my body curl into his. My hand, at its own automation, reached up to cup his face softly. He ignored the gentle touch, leaning into me. "I don't want you going out. I'll have to speak to Redd about this."

I didn't bother denying it. "It wasn't her idea, it was mine," I stated evenly. "H-how did you know?"

His eyes flew open, forcing me to retrieve my hand. "It's faint, but I can sense the sun's heat on your skin." He delicately placed his face against my neck and inhaled deeply, his hands all the while making soft, tight circles on my arms. Eric appeared to be in a fog of reminiscence, but that was only fleeting. "I don't like it. Next time you want to walk around you come to me first." He disentangled himself from me and all at once I felt emptied. My hands fluttered around myself in hopes of deterring any further advances. "I want to think that I am able to trust you, Ira." His tone felt extremely condescending and I felt even more like a foolish young girl.

"You can," I added breathily. It was apparent he didn't know just how far I had ventured which meant I would have to alert Redd before she stupidly incriminated herself. "I promise you that. I won't even think of it, gotcha, tell you first."

"Good girl." I was beginning to hate his disgusting little endearments. "I'll have Pam bring something by for you a little later on."

"No problem with me. Thank you, Eric." My hands paused awkwardly in mid-air, not quite wanting to touch him.

A soft chuckle erupted from him as he walked towards the door. He paused momentarily, as though recalling something. One thing I was coming to comprehend when it came to Eric, everything that he did was deliberate as it was meticulous. _Everything_. His hand lingered on the doorknob, "I was going to let you out this afternoon, regardless." A wry curve took to his lips. "Pam's been what can I say, a bit arduous so I felt it would be nice to let you have at her. I guess two birds with one stone," he looked me up and down assessing "and then some." He walked out proudly, letting the door easily slip shut behind him.

"Uggh! You f-fucking bastard." I was violently shaking with anger.

*

I was really, really regretting lunch at the moment. I lurched once again over the waste bin, probably emptying what was left of my stomach. A haughty _tssk_ came from behind me and turned. I groaned audibly when I saw Pam looking at me almost pitifully. Her nose was elegantly wrinkled to voice her distaste.

"Sorry," I aimed a nasty glob of spit unto the pile, smiling inwardly at the face she made on top of the other face. "It's a human thing," I emptied my mouth again. "I hope it's not food poisoning," uttering mostly to myself. Her body gave away her displeased countenance, she was basically buzzing in her irritation.

"You know I liked it better when you were catatonic." She said with contempt (I supposed being absolutely difficult with a sadistic sense of humor was a vampire thing.) to which I rolled my eyes in return. Pam was an exquisite beauty, if I judged her fairly. She carried her power as well as Eric, only in a smaller more determined package. I began to wonder at whom exactly was more unsettling.

She wore a very modern looking vinyl jacket, fashioned to crinkle like croc skin with a pair of tights that faded into the same vinyl pattern at the thighs. Her boots were cuffed and kick ass. And she very well much looked like a superhero or more like a pale Amazon goddess.

"Righty," I really wasn't a happy camper plus not exactly up on my A game. Too bad, I really wanted to go toe to toe (or head to head, however the saying goes) with her. I couldn't figure out her blatant dislike for me exactly. Either it settled to the root that I was human and she openly loathed this. Or, it could possibly be that she was protecting her turf, for lack of a better word. Maybe it was both, I was human _and_ moving in on her sire (bit corny in terminology but whatever) and she was the one to protect or maintain the order. In other words she was putting me in my place, something I constantly felt whenever I was in her presence.

"Your things are on the bed." She looked at me once more, which left me feeling about this much big. "Just get cleaned."

"Bitch," I breathed uneasily. No doubt she heard she flipped me the bird discreetly on her way out.

I balled a small fist at the closed door and shook it slowly for dramatic effect. "One day, bitch." Immediately after I began cleaning away my mess then getting clean myself. I felt filthy so I squeezed in a quick shower dodging a few people wandering in the back then rushed back to my room before it was open hours.

Gingerly, I ran my fingertips across the charcoal dress. Pam was cruel but so was she kind, she had even thrown in makeup. I was more than surprised that I wasn't somehow sabotaged. The dress fit perfectly, I mused as my fingers stroked the faux leather and cinched a belt around my waist; it barely could even be considered as thigh length. My fingers straightened up the satin and tulle ruffles, then guiding my arm into the mesh sleeve. I slipped my feet into the boots, there. Hastily I finished off by applying a coat of makeup in a nude matte and remembered to mentally tap myself on the back as I looked into the compact. Not bad for a first try.

I slid my fingers through my neatly pinned back hair. Everything was in order. _Okay, okay_. I couldn't believe I was experiencing a case of cold feet. I thought about my deal with Eric, I knew he would take advantage of his end of the deal regardless of what I did. That was all the motivation that I needed.

*

I conjured up all the courage I could find to make it out the door. Hesitantly, I guided myself to the back, going past Eric's office then further on until I felt the distinctive pull of people. What had begun so subtly had manifested itself into a monster over the hours. It threatened to send me buckling to my knees as a low thudding quiver arose in my belly. A question rose within me that I didn't before think to consider, was this intuition completely normal? I wondered at it if Redd could experience this, the awareness that grew far more overwhelming with each passing moment.

Everything that was once mottled, I noted, began to unfold and I could easily distinguish the ebb of energy that flowed from a human and the undead. The undead, they were "dead" considering how some interpreted this their vibrations (I hadn't quite figured a word for it yet) were placid, subtle, producing a consistent drone although that was not relative in regard to their emotions. In contrast, I sensed the erratic flutter to be more contributory of that of the human bodies, to which vapors poured out of their bodies in languid motions (to sum it up humans throbbed and pulsated erratically but there was a refinement in the vampires). The room, it was filled with life and it swathed each body.

The walls thrummed with music. A few people were enfolded together, moving smoothly to the music. A film of smoke clung to the air. I slipped between the warm, welcoming bodies already intoxicated by whatever drove them. I looked at the faces, hoping any kind of recognition would spring forward. I walked by a table only to feel a hand snaking up my leg. "Hey!" I slapped his face, which invoked a cheer from his group. "Fuck off." I was a little taken aback by my flare up but the violation was deeply upsetting, something I wasn't used to it and I found it just as difficult to make a sort of adjustment.

I soon made it over to the bar, throwing a slide long glance to see Eric sitting atop his throne lounging with a completely apathetic façade. This Eric was completely unfamiliar to me; his cold demeanor unsettled me to the core. "Hello, Ira."

"Oh gosh, you frightened me. Hi Chow." My heart erratically in my breast, that creepy vampire sneaking up thing was starting to unravel my last nerve. He patted the current bartender, Lando, aside.

"I'll take over here." I had met him the previous night before during off hours. There was a definite quiet charm to him that I found comforting. He outstretched his hand for mine, which I quickly offered. Placing a gentle kiss on my hand, "How's the lady doing?"

"Good," I withdrew my hand. "Tolerable. Is it always this crazy?" I looked around, soaking up the scenery. I still couldn't grasp the theatrics of it all. There were plenty of "normal" looking people, numerous tourists with wide-eyed wonder, and both vampire and human Goth clad patrons. "Can I admit that I'm just a little afraid?"

"Of course," he leaned over the counter, "our secret. So what can I offer you?"

I pondered for a minute. "I already have a little buzz as it is; so no alcohol then. I'll have the Arnie Palmer if that's okay."

He gave me a grin. "For you? Anything." He turned with an extravagant fashion and began whipping together the drink. Within a few minutes he was ready for me. "Try to be good tonight. On the house," he chimed with a wink and handed it to me elegantly.

"Wow, Ira!" Redd was standing behind me. She gave me a hug filled with warmth and familiarity. "I almost didn't recognize you. You look good."

My face heated only slightly, "Don't start, please. Thanks, anyway. I'm having a hard time fighting off the draft as it is," I tugged self-consciously at the hem of the dress. Recalling earlier, I leaned in and whispered. "Did Eric say anything to you?"

"Um, earlier he mentioned that he wanted to see me after my shift was over. Why?" Her brow furrowed slightly.

"Okay, good. Just don't mention Stacey's, he knows I was out but I don't want you getting in trouble on my account. Where are you at anyway?" I took a sip.

"Over there," she pointed over in Eric's general direction. "The little nook, yeah I kinda go back and forth from between waitressing slash bartending slash the souvenir booth. I have to head back, but come by if you need anything. So yeah, thanks for the heads up and I'll come by to see you after, if I can." She backed away slowly, all the time her hands animatedly narrating her words.

After Redd walked off, I moved away from Chow and found a little table to sit and to finish sipping my tea. My fingers cooled nicely on the glass. _Bela Lugosi's Dead _flowed upon the air. A female vampire, clad in meager leather, was on one of the platforms moving her body effortlessly to the thrumming. She was thin and ethereal. She had her onlookers fully mesmerized and clinging to the light cadence of her bared hips. Everyone clearly was overcome by the night life. Vampires were so unlike humans, I quietly mused.

I scanned the immediate area, noticing a man sending furtive glances in my direction. _Rick_! I wasted no time in getting over to his table, settling in a chair across from him. "Dr. Dalton! W-what are you doing here?" I exclaimed, half-surprised.

Rick looked about him nervously then swallowed hard. "Ira, I'm glad you're okay. I've been trying to see you for the past few days," his skin was coated in a light sheen of sweat. He was nervous, surely.

My hands wrapped around his. "Really? No one has mentioned it," he looked at me sternly, "but of course they wouldn't. But I'm okay, honestly. How long have you been here?"

"Not very long. I've just been extremely worried for you and I wanted to see for myself that you were fine. I-I figured it would be alright to stop by, to have a better chance that I might catch you." He squeezed my hand gently. His gaze went from me into Eric's direction. As guessed, we had an audience. Eric returned a stare equally as intent, a second later a heavily bosomed young woman walked up to him.

"You still have my card, right? Remember, anything you need." His eyes held something that I could hardly interpret.

"Yes, I do and I'll do that." I didn't know if I fully appreciated such an intense concern he had for me. Maybe someone needed to; I couldn't say that I even fully acknowledged the weight of my situation.

"You look really good, Ira. I-I mean since the last I saw you. You look healthier." He took a swig of beer and I reached over to press my hand into his.

"Thank you, I've gotten some rest in," the energy that flowed from him was nice, _it was familiar_, I thought as I looked at where our skin touched. He was a good man; I knew that for sure now. It was how his presence clung to him, how it lulled me into a pliant comfort. "Can't quite keep much of anything down though."

"You're taking all of this quite well," his hands made a broad gesture, "I'm quite surprised by that." Silently, I watched as he brought the bottle up to his lips with a thick lump caught in my throat.

"Do I have a choice, Rick?" I quietly expressed. My focus remained on our hands, "I really don't know what to think, what to be afraid of. I'm at a loss here right now and all the options I have is to either take it in as little as I can or let it all devastate what small bit of confidence I've built up for myself."

"I didn't mean it in that way, I'm sorry-"

"It's okay… no you know it _isn't_ okay! I'm scared and I don't even know where to begin to help myself," I looked on incredulously and a little desperate laugh escaped my lips. "I'm scared and this is the first time that I can say that… I know you really want to help me Rick but I can't- won't let you take on that kind of responsibility. I am not your problem. I'm stronger than you think; I've discovered that about myself."

"You don't know these these… _things_ like I do, Ira." I sensed the sudden shift in him as anger surged within him.

"And I don't know _you_, Rick. I don't think I can let myself trust in anything or anyone so easily. Obviously my dependence on them isn't _my_ choice, but I'm still here aren't I?"

"I deserved that one. I'm sorry but I would think that you would be better off with your own kind."

The strength that had previously abandoned me crept its way back into my veins. "That's extremely ignorant of you to say Rick and I thought it better of you," I peeled my hand away from his. "Please don't belittle my judgment."

"Look, I understand where you're coming from but do really think that you're in any state of mind to be making any rational decisions?" He reached back for my hands.

"Don't-"

"Look," his jaw clenched softly and his voice lowered. "I'm sorry but I just think it's unnatural."

"Are you that prejudiced then?" I stared at him hotly. He refused to answer or look at me for that matter. "They might play dirty, I've seen how Eric does his business, but really can you name one that has crossed you?"

"Not in the manner of so many words. Look you're a young, black female with no -look at me, and no ties whatsoever. What do you think is gonna happen to you once he can't use you anymore?"

"Don't do this to me, Rick." I squeezed in the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry but someone has to give you some sense, girl. You say I have no business looking after you but I feel that I need to since no one else will. As I've said before I have my conscience and something's telling me shit ain't right."

"It's more complicated than you know and it's not my place to say." I exhaled smoothly and collected myself. "You wanted to know how I do it?" I said changing the subject. "It doesn't feel weird or anything and regardless of my preference to whatever I don't have a choice in the matter, so I accept it. It's like saying you can't drink that particular brand of orange juice you like, you move on, you get used to the bite of the mediocre shit. So I nod and smile and I take it. That's it, that's what I do. It's better than nothing and taking my chances somewhere else where I might be taken advantage of."

He passed a hand over his limp hair. "Damn, Ira. I wish- I just wish you could be straight with me... But, I suppose it is your decision. I just want you to know the offer still stands, anytime."

"And I am certainly thankful for that." I stared at him. "I don't know what you think happens here, but no one has violated me if that's what you think. I'm practically considered as an afterthought, so when that little set up changes you'll be the first to know."

"Okay, that's fair. You're stubborn I can see that so I won't fight you on it. Anyway, what I came here for." He changed the subject, thankfully, as though he finally took a hint. "Your results came back fine apart from a few quirks in your white blood count, which was remarkably high, not that is particularly so I guess that's a good thing. But I think I want to run another blood test on you," he seemed unsure to me.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I don't want to scare you, but it's just a precaution for me. I just don't like that I feel as though I missed something, I'm nothing but efficient when it comes to my work. I'm concerned for you and I think personally you should come in for a full assessment. I feel that you're not getting the help here, that you need." Both of us, simultaneously, became aware of Pam's even strut towards us. I knew that he wanted to say more, but the moment was pretty much lost. She had the knack of making herself present at the most inopportune moment.

She folded herself a few inches, showing a modest display of cleavage, to state bluntly. "I need to borrow you," she purred with her fingertips perched on her hips. "You don't mind do you, human?" This last bit was directed at Rick.

She didn't wait for either of us to respond. She curled her hand around my arm and practically hoisted me up. "Give me a minute, Rick." Pam was still tugging at me relentlessly. Once out of his earshot I indulged my heightened anger. "That was unnecessary, Pam. You could at least show some decency, I guess it was up to you what's left of my dignity would be bleeding over your feet if you got the chance. I am not your play thing!"

She gave a feline answer, "Ooouch, I think you hurt my feelings, might I have any." She looked at me coyly, tightening her grip a bit. "If you were my play thing you wouldn't be half as nice, I think you'd be a bit more pliant when it comes to me. Well I guess that's a shame, too bad you're not exactly my type." Her voice decreased its edge as if she had suddenly become bored. "Anyway," sigh, "Eric wants to talk with you. What he calls for, he shall get."

"Well I can walk on my own, thank you very much." I wrenched my arm out of her grasp and followed her with a scowl plastered on my face. There was a middle-aged woman, apparently a tourist, wearing a Fangtasia t-shirt pleading with Eric.

"I think he's grown tired of you now." Pam quickly escorted the woman away.

I was hesitant to approach him. "Please, sit." He motioned to the seat at this right.

"I think I'll stand with what's left of my dignity. I don't want to get too comfortable." Timidly, my gaze darted over in Rick's direction.

"As I said before, please sit." I took heed to the minute change in his tone.

"Thank you, but I was kind of a little busy before though." My statement went without a response. We sat in silence for the next few moments. A few more fangbangers, I hated that term, approached us. They were casually deterred by Eric's clipped one-liners, I was given a few begrudging looks, if not more that of disdain. I looked on to a small group of women, maybe even still in college; a female vampire had them hanging on her every whim. I tore my gaze away once I attracted the vamp's heated gaze.

I found myself silently tuning into the dense pulsations rolling from Eric's body. A cold sweat in turn washed over me as I determined the power that he held over me all this time. He was certainly different from the others due to the simple fact that he was ancient. I felt my face flush as I opened up myself to the power that was him. This gave me the strength that I needed.

I finally found the nerve to speak up. "What is it that you need?" I wasn't afraid of him at all, it was more so that I was becoming precautious of our exchanges; I was definitely unhinged by this small facet of Eric. This man, I didn't know what else to call him, there were so many different faces to him. I had to continuously warn myself to not ever become too comfortable with him. I was as friendless in this world as he was gracious and overly forgiving.

"Why, your company of course," his whole countenance was bitingly caustic. "What else would it be?"

"I-it's just that I have a friend I'm talking to," I offered.

He only looked at me. "You wouldn't be referring to the doctor, would you?"

"You say that as though I was going to lie to you, Eric. And yes, it is Rick, Dr. Dalton."

"I don't need to accuse anyone of anything, don't forget that." He stated this matter-of-factly. For the life of me I couldn't figure about this drastic change in him, I settled on that he was simply living up to the whole ice role.

My temper only managed to flare up even more. "Eric, I don't have to take this this… s-shit," I seethed quietly. Anyone looking at us wouldn't think anything amiss. A vampire with his main bitch, that's what I was beginning to feel like. I felt so disgusted by this. I shifted my weight in the chair, preparing to get up.

"I'm not finished with you," he voiced dryly. The deathly look on his face left me frozen. My mouth opened and closed silently. I laced my fingers together, my eyes glued to the fabric stretched across my legs.

"What do you want from me, Eric? These games of yours are getting old really fast and I for one don't feel like entertaining you. You have your little minions for that, not me."

He remained cool, his eyes narrowing just a little. "I don't know where you seemed to have gotten your sense of entitlement, Ira. But I'm sorry to tell you that it will not be here or from me. You cannot even leverage yourself; remember your circumstances, I've told you this once before. You do not have anything you could offer me and once you lose yourself to that wager you are dispensable. You carelessly pass yourself unto whosoever graciously, and what have they done for you? Your naivety, your trust in people is off putting."

It wasn't his cruelty that affected me so deeply; it was the mere fact that he could say this to me. My body silently wept, and in this single moment I managed to have completely been disillusioned. I depended on him, that if he held some kind of favor for me, I would be kept safe. Not even his curiosity for me could save me from him, then. He was superior and he was deigning to prove this the first chance he could get… I looked up to see that the vampire had left the group of girls, including one more of the human clan. I couldn't believe I was crying but for the sake of my pride I overcame it. I wouldn't let him hear me; I wouldn't let him see me broken with his pathetic audience here before him.

"Why are you saying this to me, Eric? No- no don't even answer that, you made that perfectly clear. I didn't expect you to be kind to me and it has dawned on me that nothing comes freely. I am not that naïve. I rather that you had thrown me into the streets, I bet that would surely have been easier for both of us," my face went tight with the humiliation I was working so hard to hide. "What are you going to ask of me next, to labor for you to work off my _debt_ to you? I am thankful of what you've done but I am not desperate. See, that's what you've done to me Eric. You want me to be bitter? So I am that. You want me to know my place. Even a dog would know not to come back to the hand that ridicules him. So whatever the fuck you need to do, get it over with. And if I'm not mistaken, you are the only one who has given me false security." My whole body was practically shaking. '

So many emotions washed over me, I didn't know whether to settle between anger or to be completely distraught. Everything was coming in on me too quickly and I let it, I let every tangled pulse in until nausea built up. I didn't want to feel anything. I looked into the crowd to catch one of the other girls glancing about her frantically. She got up and I watched her walk in the direction of the bathrooms.

All the time Eric remained silent, refusing to look at me. The tears continued to flow quietly; I guess he couldn't look at his own handiwork. He sighed heavily, as any human man would. _Fuck it_. I got up. I could deal with him later. "Ira, where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to take a piss." I stared at him angrily. "You can escort me and watch if you like." That was crude but I was pissed as hell and the blood in me burned unpleasantly. I didn't care to listen what he was saying as I walked briskly back into the pool of bodies, ignoring the surge of clashing energies.

*

I pushed at the doors angrily. Muted moans in between soft pleadings came from the far end stall. Some tickling instinct told me to turn back. Legs peeked out from under the second stall, I pushed back on the door and a soft yelp escaped from my throat, "Oh my God." A blonde, I recognized her from the college group, was laid out looking up at me stupidly. I slipped and clumsily went sprawling across her legs as I moved in closer. _Shit_, I broke my heel. There was water everywhere. My body began to convulse violently as I took in her upper body, half tucked into the toilet, and the blood seeping from the open wound at her neck. '

She had put up a fight. I semi clambered up her body feeling for something, to show that she was going to be okay. My fingers fumbled at her pulse, nothing. _Fuck_, _shit_ she was already dimming, I could feel that. The low hum was barely there, I almost couldn't _feel_ her at all. I placed my fingers beneath her nose to see if there was some kind of sign. Yes, she was alive. Instinctively, I began rubbing her roughly trying to see if that could revive her but a bit.

She began to come to. "No, no! Look at me. Please don't close your eyes." I slapped at her face which caused her to show a little fight.

Her groans resonated throughout the room. "Come on, look at me! Honey, what's your name?"

"Hmm. J-Jenna," her eyes were still glassy.

"Can you get up or move at all?" I lightly compressed the wound. "You need to keep pressure on this okay? I'm going to get you some help." I gently brought her fingers to the still bleeding wound. "You're going to be fine." That was a half truth, I was terrified and I prayed she couldn't see through that lack of confidence.

_Oh my God, what am I going to do?_ Tears and desperation began to pour out of me. A small shriek erupted from the far stall. Panicked, I slipped off my boots then crept tentatively towards the sound.

Before I could close the distance the door was flung open and I stood face to face with the female vampire that I had eyed earlier. She had milky skin, with wide eyes beneath a sleek mass of light brown hair and a lanky frame. I quickly put two and two together and guessed that the blonde along with another were her most current victims. The other girl that I had only seen moments before; she was tucked into the stall with the same expression on her face as Jenna.

She ran her tongue seductively across her lips and trailed her hands up her body suggestively. "You're cute," she blandly stated in a deep southern accent. She looked me up and down, cocking her off head to the side.

The bloodlust in her eyes kept me silent. Slowly, I backed away, "Gosh, hi. Uhmm, shit one of those chicks is like passed out at the toilet. If she can't take her," my eyes uneasily darted to the exit "her liquor- I'm gonna go get one of the staff to come in and collect her." I silently prayed she wouldn't see through me. I worked hard to suppress the unease that was surely apparent on my face. Or that maybe someone would walk in on us right now. In a second she had blurred and reemerged behind me, deterring any kind of escape.

I cleared my throat. "Please, excuse me." She matched me move for move, the relish of the little cat and mouse game distorting her face. I was equally as shocked when she grabbed my arm and shoved me backwards.

"You know, I've never had a black one before."

"Well I guess neither have I, so if you don't need anything else I'll be on my way." Her coy smile quickly retreated and all at once she became stoic and I felt her madness leak into me. She was very verbal if I could find a way to describe her. The pure malevolence wafted from her made me gag. Her body was on mine and determinedly she began forcing her hand up my thighs. She playfully let her tongue flit across my face.

A loud pop filled the air at the connection of my hand across the flesh of her face. Shock, at first, then complete fury registered on her face. I took her hesitation as a chance to attempt to escape but I found myself being forcefully thrown into the opposite wall. I couldn't breathe for at least three whole seconds before the aftershock of pain rippled through the left side of my body. "You're gonna pay for that you little bitch!" She wiped at the thin trail of blood that decorated her cheek, her mouth sucked up the blood from her fingertips.

"Get off me!" I futilely pounded at her arms as she picked me up.

"You fucking little chit, shut up!" I spit at her face, which awarded me another slam to the body. My body slumped unto hers and I tried so desperately to get my drained limbs in action. The faint metallic taste of blood began to collect in my mouth.

Desperately I began clawing at her eyes, sinking my thumbs into her eye sockets. The both of us went tumbling from the sinks unto the floor, knocking the wind out of me. Fatigued and completely aching I used what little strength I had left to drag my body towards the door. She was on me again and tossing me on my back, straddling my hips she peered into my face. A surge flowed from her into me as I realized she was trying to glamour me. The surprised etched into her face startled her at the discovery that I was immune. I was far more terrified in those seconds at what she might do, the unpredictability of her nature stared back at me. "Why won't you work?" Her eyes rounded and she drove a fist into my shoulder.

A guttural moan escaped my lips and I couldn't believe it was coming from me. Tears stung at my eyes and I prayed to God that I would pass out soon enough. "No," in a weak attempt I began tearing at the exposed skin at her neck. Her cold fingers wrapped themselves delicately around my neck and slightly she exerted some pressure, dismissing my pathetic attempts. Wave after wave poured out of her, manifesting itself into an intensely putrid stink that further constricted my chest. I consumed years of her, years of her shifting energies and mottled actions.

Greedily, my body absorbed the steady flow of energy. "What the fuck are you doing to me?" A quivering sensation filled within me until it became too much that it went bursting out of me. There was a moment of tranquility and a white film which blinded my vision. I couldn't feel anything any longer.

Slowly I came around; the vampire was still perched above me with her face impenetrable. Her jaws creaked audibly as it stretched to its extent. She made a retching sound before a warm flow of blood came surging unto my face and chest. Her hold on me loosened a small amount but I let the resignation flow through my limbs. I wasn't able to move, even if my life depended on it and which it did.

I was still preoccupied in my unmindful world when I heard the door almost being torn open then her weight leaving me. From my angle I could see Eric with his arm extending to his hand compressed about the other vampire's neck. She calmly held her ground, her eyes doing most of the pleading. I stared up at the two willing my unsteady legs to carry the rest of me. Blood, now cool, streamed steadily down my legs. I was just as surprised at how alert I still was.

"Eric," I gripped at my raw throat. It felt as though it were worn from disuse along with the trauma of almost being strangled to death. "E-Eric, please." I pulled at his arm ineffectively. Eric was in a completely foreign place; his whole body was tense with the power that rolled off of him. His fangs were elongated and I caught the faint metallic whiff of blood that floated upon the air. He wanted blood.

"Eric, no!" I could hear the soft bones in her neck tighten then slowly beginning to shatter as he tightened his grasp. "Please! Don't kill anyone because of me." I threw myself around the occupied arm, quietly pleading with him further.

Reluctantly, I felt his muscles ease up in appeasement. I thought better to not voice my satisfaction so quickly but I gave in to the impulse. "Thank you," I silently mouthed.

I looked at the vampire, she had a kind of gratitude shining in her eyes but she kept silent. Her body had made subtle indentations in the wall. The world came slowly rushing back to me and I calmly worked to close myself off to the vibrations manipulating the air. Eric's flare gradually worked into a peace and also I could sense a weakening in the female's projection. "Oh God. Eric, the two girls – they need help," I turned to see that Pam, Chow, and another woman I didn't recognize were already in the room. I stumbled a bit and my legs slapped at the floor before Eric hoisted me up in his arms.

The female vampire made a run for it. "Chow," Eric simply said. Chow was after her before the syllable could be completed. The other woman followed closely on his exit. Eric quickly gave me a once over to make sure I was all there.

"I'm okay. Are they going to be alright?" I peered over his shoulder.

"Aw, nothing a cold splash of water on the face can't fix. If I were you, I wouldn't worry all too much." This was from Pam. She had her hands set on her hips and drinking in the situation.

The pain leisurely crept back on me, forcing a stream of tears to inch down my face. I took in the rest of my body, "Oh gosh," my hands flew to my face wiping at the forgotten blood. "I'm so sorry… The dress is ruined. Sorry." Eric quietly, almost at ease, lapped at my tears. I wanted to relish the "tender" moment longer but I pushed on his chest lightly. "I can walk, thanks."

"I'll take you to lie down." He kept his hand at the small of my back and I molded into that offered support.

"Pam, take care of this. Make sure you keep this as isolated as possible."

"Of course, I wouldn't do it any other way." She nodded in confirmation.

I let his steadfast frame guide me to our destination. I felt as disconnected as ever, like I was a mere spectator residing in my own body. Each action felt to its own automation as though delayed to the command. So I walked as proudly as I could with my outer body experience. Eric walked on ahead of me like a silent wraith.

**


	7. Manhattan, and Then Forever Roam

A/N: Sorry guys that it took so long to update. I haven't abandoned it (it's my baby - love child). So yeah life's drama ensues and such. So good news (kinda), I'm making a big move to the big apple, yeah wish me luck on that one. I just want to double thank all you guys that have reviewed, fav'd, put this betch on alerts (and you special ones that keep up with me)... my heart goes out.

I'm not exactly too shimmied about the final draft (so I guess that depends on you guys and what you think). I didn't at all want this chapter in particular to feel too rushed (hey, maybe its just me) and out there. So I hope you guys like. I just wanted to get this updated since its been sitting for quite too long. I hope this is sweat juice (hey, thats a good thing now).

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**"Manhattan, and Then Forever Roam"**

Everything was enshrouded by a sheer veil as I fought to cling to some kind of consciousness. I was lying down and I could sense Eric perching next to me. My body remained in its lethargic state, the vampires' calming ebb threatened even more to lull me into the abyss. Poison flowed through me, I could feel it as I made a useless attempt to rid evidence that the female vampire had sliced into me. She was still with me, her energy flowing within me corrupting the little peace I had for myself.

"You're becoming soft on her." Pam. "I don't like it. She's more trouble than she's worth." The soft click of her heels gave a notion that she was moving closer to us.

It took a while for Eric to respond, "That is none of your concern. When it does become an issue for you then you have every say in the matter." His voice was completely neutral.

"She's but a human child Eric that trouble only seems to follow. We don't need any more than our fill."

"What happened wasn't her fault, we both know that. We simply need to be more cautious when it comes to our patrons. She could still be very useful to us if we could but get her to tell us what she knows. It would be very unwise to dispose of any and the only lead that we have, Pam."

"Fine," she seemed a little more appeased by this reasoning due to the expression in her tone. "But what if she doesn't know anything, Eric? She's seen too much, she knows too much of what we do here. There is but so much we could do to make her simply forget that would leave her intact." The displeasure in her voice filled the entire room.

"The girl knows nothing. And it's going to stay that way."

There was a momentary pause. "Of course, if that is what's best. You've been practical and efficient for as long as I've known you." Her heels elegantly, almost silently shifted away. "If you must know the bar maid is here and once you can get that one roused we'll be set to go."

"Thank you Pam that will be all. Leave us. I'll take her out front in a moment."

There was silence after this, indicating Pam's departure. The authority within his voice couldn't be mistaken. In a way I was envious of this, the way everyone swam within the little world he had conjured up for himself. Half in sleep, I slept well. I was actually dozing hoping my body would relive sweet memories. All the while Eric tenderly cleaned away the dried blood. Soon I fell susceptible to the old grief that wracked my body and I suffered through it wordlessly. Although I had been stripped bare of everything that I was made up of, I was still left with the pain. I would always suffer so, not knowing quite what my body wept for.

*

I came to not knowing how long I had been out for. Fifteen minutes, maybe an hour I couldn't possibly tell. It didn't matter though. Eric and Pam's previous conversation floated around in my brain, with me trying to make sense of it. As soon as the words connected with the intentions they crumbled leaving behind the buzzing in my head. Clumsily I got to my feet. I had on a fresh change of clothes, a pair of dark wash jeans and a Fangtasia t-shirt. _Great_, there would be no escaping it. With new eyes I looked about, straightening my clothes a bit. The great thing was that I felt much better now that much of the worry and vile had run out of my system.

The clock indicated that it was way past closing time just about now. Everyone had most likely filed out rejoining the life that existed outside of these walls and I wondered what those people might go back to, the lifestyles that they led. I found myself exiting the small room and making it out towards the bar. There I was met with a serious looking conversation in progress. I identified one man sitting as Keith but the other I didn't recognize. He was attractive, very distinguished features and apparently in his early '30s or so _and_ he was a vampire, there was no question to that. I found his sideburns quite peculiar looking but remembering that I was in the midst of eavesdropping continued to do so. I tucked myself away with a slightly obscured view, but all the same I could hear what I needed to. The room was heavy and droned lightly.

"Are you positive the blood found on this piece of garment has any relation to the girl?" The vampire, his voice held an old aristocratic confidence to it.

"Yeah, the others feel strongly about it." Keith was big (in a muscular sort of way) and showy in his movements and his body spared him none when it came to his gestures. "My cousin works down in evidence," he placed a package on the table. "So I called in a favor and got him to swing by me a few pieces. We got until later 'til he comes back to get this. But yeah, anyway what was taken from the scene was this," I could make out something being slid across the table "along with some women's clothing. Shit, look at 'em pictures what was left of the poor bastard. Like he up and fucken popped."

"So what does she have to do with it?" That came from a blonde woman who I had just caught sight of, she was beautiful. She walked into view and sat in front of the papers and items strewn across the table. Both she and the vampire looked at the material before becoming lost in focus.

A cool hand snaked around my arm. "You know it's not nice to hover unwanted. It's not very polite," Pam purred. I gasped a little too audibly, having the small group before me snap in my direction. And a cruelly smug smile twisted Pam's colored lips.

"I-I'm so-sorry," I felt like I was caught red-handed and thanked God silently that my tone partially hid the flush that surely was there.

"Eric, I found our little vagabond." I ignored that, turning for a glimpse of him. Then I recalled that I was supposed to still be upset with him. Yeah, right I _am_ livid.

He stepped forward, now clad in his bare essentials of a black racerback wife beater and black jeans making his way towards the occupied table. He sure did like black. I rolled my eyes to that. "I see that everyone has partially met," he threw a curt nod in my direction. "Ira please, come."

I looked at Pam, who was still holding unto me. She let go of my arm reluctantly to let me walk towards Eric. I really was beginning not to like this at all. Something was up and maybe I was half stupid for walking right on into whatever it was I assessed as I looked from each face to the other uncertainly.

"Ira, this is Bill Compton," the vampire with the sideburns gave a nod of acknowledgement. I knew better than to force on any other kind of friendly greeting, I was learning more and more about vampire formalities by the day. The blonde woman looked hesitantly over to the one named Bill. "And Sookie Stackhouse."

She had a big smile running across her face that set some kind of ease to me, cutting Eric short she rushed in and moved forward so we could shake hands. "Nice to meet you," our skins connected and at once I knew something was off with her. Her hand lingered on mine another second then she gave me a firm reassuring squeeze. The pulsations that emitted from her, as soon as I touched her skin I could distinguish the irregularity in it from the others, undead and the other human.

I looked back at Eric for some kind of inclination as to why we were all gathered here. "They are associates of mine," he simply stated almost knowingly and he made little effort to hide the contempt that came with it. "Miss Stackhouse here," he waved a passive hand towards her frame. "I believe will be of good use to your predicament."

"How so?" I asked looking back at the new duo then at Eric. They didn't seem as though they were affiliated with the police (from what I heard earlier) nor in the medical profession. "Don't get me wrong but," I looked back at Sookie apologetically "it doesn't seem at all feasible to simply _fix_ me, Eric."

"Look, Ira." Sookie interjected. "What I do is that we simply talk, okay? What might be a problem is that it's simply all psychological. Talking about it might just help you to remember, it just might work," warmth exuded from her.

I looked to Eric for encouragement and was met with a stoic face. I considered what she said; I don't think I had tried to talk at all, well at least in a calm manner. Although this was a temporary home (with an unpleasant batch of people) I couldn't let my walls fall. That was the only invested strength I had, if my will and determination went then I would be left wide open.

Keith made a lame reason to excuse himself which in effect left me weakened. Two humans against… the other number was plenty enough. Bill tended to Sookie with a consideration that was endearing, falling into a pattern that fit and conformed precisely to the other. His demeanor was disconcerting but I could see that this was his woman and he would be ready do anything for her. This assuaged some of my concerns.

Eric pulled out a chair and motioned wordlessly for me to sit. I sat and he rested his large hands on my shoulders as if to keep me in place. _Oh I'm not going anywhere_, I thought bitterly. Sookie sat, placing her handbag on the back of her chair all the while with a smile on her face. At least someone was human, mind you, civil.

I moved in closer to Eric to whisper which was completely irrelevant if you thought about it, but whatever. "Uhm, Eric is everything fine? From earlier I mean."

"Yes, it was settled." He remained cool.

I returned my attention towards the pleasant woman. Gently she pressed me to go on what I could remember. It wasn't very much and I could tell from the light frustration that marred her brow.

She spoke a bit hesitantly, "Is it okay if I hold your hands? It kind of helps what I do work a bit better."

I looked at her uneasily. "I don't like this," I vocalized. Pam uttered a brief word of contempt (which I ignored yet again). I was hesitant to go into something that I wasn't too sure of, who could blame that? "What is it exactly that you do?"

"It's what I can say a sort of intuition. I can tell things just by being around them, things that they might not quite know themselves.

I put two and two together. "What are you psychic or something?" I scoffed.

"Oh lord, she can read minds child," Pam threw at me. "If you can believe in vampires, ghosts, and werewolves then by golly!" It was apparent that she was becoming bored and agitated to get it all over with.

Sookie cleared her throat uncomfortably and I could see the distaste she held for the other vampire by the set of her lips. Well, an enemy of my enemy is a friend. "Just ignore that. But yeah you can say that I can read minds."

"Werewolves?" I was still trying to get my mind around that piece, completely ignoring all the other more imperative facts.

"That's not the point." Eric sent a stern glance over in Pam's direction. "Now back to the issue at hand. Sookie?"

That set me off. The irritation that had been building through the night went through the roof. I wouldn't be treated like a child or sit by and be ridiculed and governed as though I was a brain-less zombie. "Wait a minute. First, I want to state my case." I met Eric's disapproving glare with equal fervor. "If we're all going to start being all truthful and kumbaya and shit then I want the truth from you Eric. I've been here long enough and I've heard quite enough bullshit to deserve to know what's happening. Since all of this does concern me, correct?" Yes, I was pissed.

No reply.

"What's everyone whispering about that I can't know?" I pressed further.

"She doesn't know?" Sookie now turned her gaze on Eric.

"I don't need to explain decisions to anyone but in regards to that I felt it relevant. I was counting that Sookie could simply get what we needed and all would be well." His frame bent so he could be more leveled and I knew he was going into his best intimidation stance.

"So… you're still not going to tell me then?" I minded my tongue, only a bit. He gave me a look and I knew we would be having a little "talk" later on when all the witnesses would be out of the way.

"Fine," he folded his forearms across his chest and became disinterested. "Initially when I found you, you were wondering the streets half deranged, mumbling listlessly. Mind you, in a language unfamiliar to me. My initial thoughts were that you were a victim of a Supe's attack and what further unsettled me was that the blood you were covered in was completely foreign. I haven't come across anything like that and I felt it necessary and an obligation as sheriff of this area to safeguard my territory." I would have to catch up on the in betweens later on for I was much too worried about keeping up.

"I felt that in no way I could let you into the hands of the human collective. Of course this would be fuel to the fire for it would be a stigma to the vampire community seeing that most likely our kind would've been the immediate scapegoat." He moved to place himself directly in front of me. "Through Keith as well as other connections we caught wind of a corpse in a vehicle on one of the back roads leading into Shreveport. It was severely torn to pieces with little signs that could lead to identification. Regardless of the precautions that I felt that were necessary there is hostility towards our community, although there haven't been any blatant accusations. Nevertheless, they are bound to arise and all we can do is wait in preparation and disprove any absurd links that the authorities or independents might come up with.

"Now, it was also determined that the body was male but not as human as you might quite expect. It's not one of us, not one of theirs so that's where I come in. I've initiated my own investigation which has offered very few leads. Now this is relevant in the assumption that you are tied to this somehow. From what items Keith has brought to us it can be safe to say that it's the victim's blood that you were covered in. Along with that, we've recovered women's clothing from the vehicle that although faint carries your scent to it. Other than preoccupying myself and resources to the mystery of what this male was, I have reason to believe that you might've seen or almost fell victim to this being, which could be one of the victim's own. So in essence you have become a vital piece in our investigation. And it would be exceptionally commendable of you if you offered nothing but cooperation," this last bit was filled with sarcasm.

I didn't say anything at all I couldn't even begin to form a coherent sentence in my own brain. "Wow... Okay," I nodded weakly in compliance.

"Do you recognize this?" He handed me a package. I dipped my hand in, extracting a white, bloodied sundress.

"No." I slipped the contents back into its packaging and shoved it away as the bile rose in my throat.

"Good," he exclaimed almost too cheerfully half savoring the challenge I suppose. "I've reason to believe that it might be workings of a cult in the vicinity… So if you have any questions, feel free."

"Eck- uhm, no. I think I'm good." To tell the truth I didn't know how to digest that chunk of information. I approached as though it were a large meal I didn't know how to go about its dissection.

"Good." He clasped his hands behind his back. "Now Sookie, if we'll continue."

*

Sookie gave me another encouraging smile and I understood that she meant well but I just didn't want anything to do with all of this. She was a nice enough woman and I wondered at how she got herself into this. She stretched her hands across the table and I timidly took them.

Again she went over her previous questions but was met with the same frustrations. "She's telling the truth."

"You've barely done anything yet." Pam had up until now kept surprisingly silent, possibly out of interest, which she visibly fought to conceal. "You've got to wear her down a bit."

"Well why call me here? Didn't Glamour work for you?"

"We already tried hon. But it seems that she's just as defective as you." It was Bill's turn to send her a heated glare. "Oh quiet Bill, I'm just teasing."

"I don't know why it won't work. I almost can't read her; I don't know why she's blocking so hard. She's more like a vampire if anything else, nothing at all going on up there. I can't explain it but it's like her brain waves are just off." Absentmindedly, Sookie chewed at her lower lip. "Okay, it's okay Ira. You're doing fine. Ah, just close your eyes. I'll go about another way. Just- can you do this for me? I promise nothing is gonna happen to you."

I believed her but it unsettled me a bit that she wanted or the fact that she was able to delve into my mind and mess around. "Okay." But she was extremely comforting and I fed from that, each subtle wave that rolled off her. Soon she was sending me into a place that was locked away. Her soothing voice sent me away from Fangtasia, away from vampires, even out of Eric's grasp. Immediately I knew what she was doing when she lulled me into a trance.

"Yes," I answered. I didn't know what for I just knew that the answer meant she was taking me somewhere good. Soon it was only the both of us and I was cut off from the others.

"Put yourself someplace where it's safe, home. No one can interfere with this peace."

"Yes, I would like that very much." I was so buoyant, I felt as though I was barely existing as I sat on the edge. She asked me where I would like to go, what made me _free._ I had no experience of this but I knew that it was what I had thirsted for what I visualized having for myself. "Outside. I can feel the heat on my skin. Taste the earth in my mouth. Hmm, I like it here…"

"You're doing great Ira. When I count to three you will no longer know that I'm here, I'll just be a voice floating above your shoulder, simply your conscience." I envisioned myself in a meadow, simply walking through the tall, wheat-colored grass wearing a plain shift. My bare feet went on ignorant to the moist earth beneath it, the wind lightly whipping about me. Most of all I felt free, unadulterated. I found simple contentment and shed the weight that clung to me so desperately. All too quickly I became aware. Through the veil I sensed the others and somehow I hadn't relinquished all control over to her, I didn't know why but a little piece within me activated, disassociating itself from the world that was unconscious.

"Can you remember anything from three days ago?"

"No." Mentally and physically I could feel my brow furrowing slightly out of pain. "It's so distant and displaced."

"Why can't I see where you are, Ira?" She asked calmly.

"I-I don't know." As soon as I said those words there was a mental snap. She was in. Her fingers loosened as she was picking through things.

"Is this the only place you can get to? Try a bit harder, Ira. Go back to three nights ago. Push a little further. You might not remember it but it's all there. See yourself breaking free." A cool draft enveloped me. "Can you tell me what happened?"

A soft groan escaped my lips as I fought through the morass to end up with nothing. Suddenly there was shift in the air, a slight bend and I knew she could see everything as the scene unfurled. It was dark, just a little after nightfall and I was running wildly in means of escape. The wood wasn't very dense but I ran through the burning, tearing flesh, hyperventilating in the past as well as the present.

_"What's happening?"_ Eric. Yes that was Eric. I could make his voice out through it all.

I looked back. "Ira, focus! What is it? Why are you running?"

I couldn't answer her as I was bound to my secrecies. As soon as she spoke the whole thing evaporated and I was back in the meadow. The sun burned down into my very core but I couldn't feel the heat, I couldn't feel anything at all.

I looked to my left and Sookie was standing beside me. She was here. An incredulous, alarmed look passed over her face as she took in where she was. "Ira, why are we back here?" She looked wildly about her. And that's when we both realized she was no longer the one in control.

Through the veil I felt her hands tighten around mine in momentary panic. Her fingers dug into my flesh. In here we weren't touching but yes the tiny crescents materialized before my eyes. _"Don't touch her."_ A steady voice filtered through and around us.

I didn't answer to it for the lethargy went through me and I began to move forward. In the distance an oak tree sat in solitude and called to me like a magnet. My body simple went. Its massive, graying limbs extending and curving upwards towards the glorious sun. At ease I moved on no longer concerning myself with the presence next to me. Her pleas fell on deaf ears, all my concentration was directed into getting to the destination before me. I fanned my arms out letting the magnetic pull reel me in. The tree pulsated with life. The waves about it burned with a tumultuous fire I've never felt before. It resonated throughout my bones. My belly quaked and I salivated from wanting its life so badly.

I settled on the bark and looked back at Sookie with dead eyes; I looked through cold eyes that were no longer mine.

In turn she swallowed hard and I could tell she felt what I did, only slightly different. Fear rolled from her although she kept a brave face. She didn't know what to expect.

"What is this?" Incredulously she looked up and up, as far as the branches would permit her. The canopy of the leaves and branches kept us in its bosom. My fingers slid across the dry bark, which thirsted in the midst of this paradise. "Please, answer me. Y-you were so close come on. Just try a little harder." She spoke in both worlds, her voice resounded eerily.

My body did as asked and I leaned my burdened frame unto the oak's crust. Further I delved, past the ringing, down into the abyss where I knew not to expect anything. I dipped in to taste, hoping my grasp wouldn't emerge empty. The plane throbbed and contorted, I snapped my eyes shut as thick blood trailed its course down my lips. It fell disparagingly to the brown earth.

The oak exhaled and expanded urging my supple limbs into its hold. I looked up to see Sookie's face blanching to the color of white sheets; her body transfixed with breathless wonder. The wood groaned then embossed to form a warped human face. The air went still and carried heat that would surely manage to stifle any life. Slowly the entity begun to disentangle itself from the rest of the wood's flesh, the limbs broke forth, securing its arms about me in a nurturing manner. It was a woman.

She was a woman totally comprised of wood and fortitude. The tree moaned one final time as she separated herself from her birth bed. The tree's husk was torn and ragged but that too healed as well as her skin. Life flowed from her and she held me closer, her hands splayed across my womb. "Mama," I breathed languidly. Her dry lips touched my skin briefly. My fingertips trailed along the coarse wooden skin, tiny strips peeling away at my touch.

I melted into her frame, resting upon her bosom all the while stroking her inhuman flesh with a fulfillment I couldn't place. I could tell her gaze remained on Sookie the entire time. "What you want you will not find here," her voice sounded like the soil, even the very tree itself. It was primal and held a brazen, guttural threat. And she smelt of the sticky, heady sap that coursed through her veins and her pores which fed me, gave me sustenance.

"Ira," Sookie's mouth quivered in defeat. This was an unpredictable entity. "Please come to me. When I count to three-"

A shriek rose out from the Oaks throat, shaking the earth and the very world itself sending Sookie crumbling to her knees.

"There are no other masters here!" Anger reverberated across the expanse of land. A potent strength rippled from her wooden skin that coerced me into submission. All I could do was be held by her and be looked at by the blonde before me in her defenselessness. "This is over when I wish it so." Her coarse copper-colored hair, woolen in texture enveloped me in a cocoon of tendrils.

"Ira, this is simply a subconscious hold. You're stronger than this." Desperation sung within the depths of her eyes. She was scared of a defeat she couldn't begin to fathom.

I closed my eyes and let it all wash over me. My spent body feasted from the steady ebb and I sought out my past skin and I projected everything to Sookie. It flowed out of me simply, "_Matre_." The Oak let my body slump.

Detached I looked on as she walked over to Sookie. The Oak, she looked once in my direction with weary colored eyes then turned towards her mark. Her nude, striated body swayed with an unrefined sensuality. Almost as a lover would, she cradled Sookie in her firm arms. Without hesitation she leisurely brought her lips to Sookie's. The exchange was a carnal aggression as her body thickened and throbbed and forced the blonde's body into compliance. Her fingers delved into the gold strands. Poison flowed from her mouth into the woman in her arms, the tiny veins and nerves in Sookie's face puckering and bulging in exploitation.

"NO! Get out of my head!" That was my own screech as I found the strength to break all hold to this world, I was surprised that I had anything left within me. This was my fault. My mind was perfectly lucid and I knew the intentions of the entity. She was pure and utter destruction and yet I did nothing, I chose to do nothing.

The warm, sensuous thrill built up with me like a firestorm. It spread from my womb and everywhere else to burn a path in my extremities.

There was a mental snap and all the spider webs retracted. Sookie was thrust from her chair by the electric turbulence bursting from within me. God, it hurt so much! It was as though every electric particle were exploding and burning spitefully. My nails drove deep gashes into my enflamed flesh, wherever I could get to. Wildly my body flayed and nothing would make the fucking pain go away.

Pam came to hover over me, her hands working so desperately to steady my spasms. "Don't touch me!" In madness my arm extended, clawing desperately at the flesh below her cheek. She howled in fury, half surprise sending my body into the bar. The lights danced in last moments of fervor before the world dimmed along with it.

**


	8. Death in Python Pumps

A/N: Sorry for being MIA for a min. The move was good (for all who care and want to know anyway lol). So yeah my laptop crashed the other day and I salvaged what was left of the pre-saved chapter as I could. I'm livid (very much so) so this is a bit of a filler chapter/part 1 of a longer. I just wanted to get something up. I will do bigger and better! Let me cut myself short before I start rambling. Okay, for future reference read my author's notes last because I do tend to ramble. Then again I should just put em at the end right? I should one thing at a time though, I'm a ceature of bad habits. Oh yeah this is bound for edits, I'll let you guys know if I spruced it up in the following a/n of the next chap (and yes that will be on top... that's what she said lol).

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**Chapter 7**

**"Death in Python Pumps"**

There was just simply no compromise with life. It did what it wanted and took whatever it craved. All that was left was for me to simply flow along with existence, not to fight it any longer. I sat there and watched the aftershock unfurl looking through glassy eyes. I simply sat there with my body contemplating what to do when the pain was finally registering. I quickly looked about finding Sookie with Bill predictably hovering over her and tending to her by the disheveled table and chairs. He had his long fingers rooted in her fine golden hair, his palms nimbly slapping life back into her chalky skin.

My hands felt as though they were engulfed by flames, slowly the sinews dissolving and burning out into nothing. Roving about on their own accord, scorching a path wherever they touched all the while on a contradicting note everything was left intact. It was exactly how my existence felt, wreckage and despair within, the pathetic gilded façade. Sadly even that was now also broken. Brutally, I began scraping my tingling fingertips against the dark jeans. I leaned into the bar nursing a slashed arm all the while weeping, it was as though everything were unfolding in a slowed motion. With each passing moment I had a feeling of how gravely profound everything I was.

I sat here and I could count the subtle expansion and plummet of each breath and I discovered something in me had quite changed. Somehow I was a new woman. A light had gone off somewhere that told me there was nothing in this life for me. My path would be nothing but one filled with a malignant plight and the carnage that took to the unshaped corners. The pain mercifully numbed wherever that had begun to hurt.

My throat burned from an unquenchable thirst, my body existed in a wasteland. And there before me sat a woman who did nothing but try to assuage the impossibility of my predicament. But all I could manage to do was feel pathetically sorry for my own pain in the feeling that there was nothing left of me to take for I could not feel anything any longer except the heaviness of existing.

Chow, Chow he materialized from wherever and was now encircling his arms about me. "No, no no d-don't touch-"

"Ssh, you be quiet. Let's get you up." He softly muzzled at my neck reassuringly and helped pour some dignity in me. He coaxed most of my weight unto him and I stood upon weakened legs, my hands as heavy as lead, the thick blood pooling about my forearm and leaking thickly to the floor so audibly I could even hear it. I had no clue from where our little platonic bond had materialized.

Sookie writhed in the throes of a kind of ecstasy, her body quite torn between distinguishing pain from pleasure. The veins in her neck bulged, her fingers ripped madly at her thin blouse. The deposit of thin vessels blackened and throbbed about her mouth, accentuating the toxic purple tint of her lips. There was a war occurring within her before our very eyes, it very much felt as if her body were deteriorating right before our eyes and re-erecting itself.

Bill's lips were pulled far above his fangs and fear coated him like a sweat. I could sense it in the vampires; I tasted them with a rekindled fervor. I could tell by the way the air battered about them, the tightening of their skins. All the vampires in the bar held themselves with an unnatural composure as it didn't take much to feel the crackle that floated on the air.

That observation only forced me to comprehend the weight of my mortality, which compelled me to try to disappear. I cruelly dug my fingertips into the denim stretched across my thighs; I didn't want to exist at this moment. The urge to reprimand myself was a guilt that had I slowly began to take unto my other burdens; this sudden need for self-infliction was all new to me. It was another trait that I found that my body remembered with the passage of time. I wanted to curl up in a damp corner to lick my wounds and be forgotten. But that small divine favor would only have to mean that God was on my side and that everything leading up to these very moments coerced me to believe He had taken His leave of me. My body was cursed.

My mind decided to fall back in place to recall that I was not the only one in this room. There were others with far Machiavellian tithes to offer. Their lithe, deviant bodies compressed and circled about me. Pam, she and her blackened heart resurfaced and the look on her face had me cowering deeply into Chow's side.

"Chow, I have nothing against you," her elegant fingers slid against the wound puckering the apple of her cheek. The gash was already neatly knitting together right before my eyes. Mind you, this was the first time I had actually been conscious enough to see the preternatural at work and it had me gaping stupidly with the urge to piss my pants or wanting to be completely taken in by it all. She paused momentarily to lick away the residue of her precious blood. She wore death with painted lips. "The animosity does not lie with you." Pam's voice was well clipped as though she were fighting for everything "Vampire" in her to keep her consistent composure.

The way I felt she saw the facts were that if she gave this little bit of her then I would be winning this ever present war between the both of us. Her gaze finally flitted to me as though she were acknowledging feces on the bottom of her shoe. She gave an incredulous laugh, "You drew blood." We were both entangled in a child's game that neither of us wanted to play; it was tit for tat and she definitely wanted to return the favor, even if it were all for show.

"Pam," Eric's smoothly controlled voice droned in. "Back off." He dipped his head in a kind of censure. He as the rest knew how this slight chiding was tarnishing her authority, a belittlement in the favor of someone far from being equivalent. Suddenly everything in the world stopped working for me in this exact moment. My own fate would be sealed and dictated more so on by the actions of others and I felt it rightly so. The world wouldn't be righted and functional if it were all in my good fortune.

Before I could even think to panic Chow was no longer by my side. Kevin had managed to reemerge and had his thick hands tucked neatly in his denim pockets. I felt desperate, alone, terrified, consumed by an unplaced rage building within the pit of my stomach. Soon I was all but backed into the bar with nowhere to slip to.

"I think it's just about time you all stop protecting this girl. It's time to realize that her stakes in this are far smaller than what we all stand here to lose." Pam paused to uproot the yes-man. "She can do nothing but impede the little progress we have made," her sweet voice filled and savaged the dimly lit room. The floorboards groaned with an unseen weight. And never could I place such a deafening silence that held its own kind of desperation. It resonated through my bones and became a part of their bodies.

Eric would not come to the defense that I had so craved he would, I didn't even bother to look to him. Whatever fight I had left in my torn body was a futile waste. Pam's suited frame elongated and sauntered across the muted colored floorboards in her Alexander McQueen pumps. A bubble stiffened in my chest and I was overcome with the urge to laugh deliriously, I was so over it by now. Death in python pumps.

**


	9. Death Wore Python Pumps

**Chapter 8**

**"Death Wore Python Pumps"**

Electricity crackled and embodied all of the world. My body wasn't my own, it never had been. Some were destined in life to march to the dirge of another's cry. This was my fate and everything that I had come across up until now led me to believe what I was now reaping was the fruit of a distant life. Somehow I deserved all of this; I was beginning to understand that now. My flesh tightened, gorged with blood rushing and filling the insides.

Pam was before me, taunting as always but I could no longer sense her. It was as though a hand emerged from the proverbial sky into the box to scatter its toys. My hands and head were full. There was this blinding essence and all I knew was there something even more immense taking over me, a surge of displacement, of the world racing and pulling its weight to meet up with me, and that's all I could recall. A loud fluid pop sounded off above and behind me in a chain that had mayhem eating at the scene.

*

"I told you if y'all would do it my way, we could get what we were looking for." Pam was solid again, and lovely as ever and right back in focus. She had a very satisfied expression on her face as her tongue skirted out to flick across her lips. Yes, she was very satisfied about something.

I was instantly pulled to look to her feet. She gently flicked her feet and the liquid slid off like water repellant doused the reptile pumps. Glass crunched lightly as she turned on her heel to look directly into Eric's face. "You should be satisfied by this Eric."

Eric was silent, which was never a good sign. His body was held like an Earthbound god that still possessed all the ego and esteem of that of one in better skin. He folded his arms.

All I knew was that I was extremely fatigued, thirsty, and emaciated feeling. Like a woman who had not seen food in weeks, but cotton mouth was not at the top of the list of worries. "What happened," out came this feeble voice that I couldn't have ever associated with myself. It ripped me to pieces to be this vulnerable in front the keepers that I proclaimed never to let break me. I didn't like unsolicited attention, let alone bad attention.

"You did," Pam simply mouthed.

Sookie was already on her feet and looked freshly brushed off. Goodness, I sank back into myself a little more relieved. At least I didn't kill anyone. That deserved a good chuckle. If I managed not to hurt or kill my own self that would be nice as well. I propped my elbows on the slick counter to realize I had alcohol all over me; I was practically drowning in the wet and smell of it. Slowly I tasted the liquor from my fingertips as the heady stink of all the combinations made me feel a bit tipsy. _No way_… I gaped stupidly at Pam as the realization struck me. The lights overhead littered the ground and both me and Pam. The bottles in the back, on every single one on the racks, were shards that engulfed our conflict bubble. "I'm a fucking freak." I gave into the tug of my empty legs and slid to the floor with a sloshy sound.

At the time Chow probably decided that it was high time my self-esteem had taken all the beating it could for one night. Pam made to move in to gather me up but quickly that was deterred by an innate sense. The metal bottle racks on the wall groaned as though the last of their strength was giving way. I never saw this woman skittish and that in fact scared me shitless.

"Don't worry, I've got her." Chow seemed to be quite oblivious to it all and I found a deep solace in the comfort he tried to offer. I didn't mind a civil vampire, I don't think anyone would mind that at all.

"I don't think I could walk to save my life." I breathed into him as I latched on with numb fingers.

Bill quickly hardened, remembering where he was and the woman beside him. "It might be above my standing to ask this Eric, but what of this here? Is it to be just left as this?" Displeasure marked his face when Eric would not answer his inquiry. "I asked a question."

Eric merely shot a lengthy look in his direction. I could envision the cogs and bolts beneath his blond, astute head turn. "And I heard. I'll settle it from here. I won't need your services any longer for the rest of the night. The waitress may stay here to recuperate." And so the struggle and old-fashioned game ensued.

"That's out of the question. I remain where she does, as a part of the deal."

"Fine, take her and go home. But return tomor-…"

"Hey, I'm right here," she was neatly tucked into Bill's side "and I can talk for myself Eric. I won't be bartered-"

"Sookie will need time to gather herself…" Bill had mostly likely slipped in a discreet nip. I became too exhausted to fight off the growing disinterest.

"I'll call for you then," Eric waved coolly.

Life always came with its little unimportant worries but mine were beginning to add up very quickly. If consequences were something that were after the initial fact, then how much would those trivial details amass to before it decided to stop? I was in deep, way up the knees and past the belly. Sometimes I couldn't see through it at all.

**

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A/N: So yeah... I have been absent for a while. First off, sorry to those who've been keeping up with me. Good reason as of that. I'm certainly having an early mid-life crisis. And saying that of course stress accompanies any kind of crisis. Let's just say I'm making limeaid with the lemons I'm getting in life right now. Ambiguity, don't you just love that (sarcasm, works wonders for the soul lol). So I've been sort of neglectful in my bouts of updating. Yea, yea i know this is a sorry excuse of a filler lol. But I intend to type up the Chapter 9 and possibly 10 in the next couple of days. I'm turning into a work demon i know. So yea expect it to be way darker, to match my less glamorous mood. Hope you guys like ^_^

So in the plan: We've got more Redd action in there, a little more action action, a ton of drama, figuring into this "power" of Ira's (yeah it seems sometimes I dont know where the hell it's going but oh I do, it's up here in my head). And possible even more Eric action

And yes, I've got a method to my madness. I tend to dabble into way too much than I can handle. I tend to do that often. So whoopee, as you know, for those who follow Supernatural (yeah the tv series), just started its new season AND I'm a ginormous fan and I want to start a fanfic on that. So how does that sound? Marvelous to me lol. I've got that up me sleeves.

Points for me! I put my author's note at the BOTTOM of the page...chiyeah. Cause yeah, I kinda tend to ramble on and on and this is kind of an eyesore to be seeing at the top telling you quite how sucky it is before you even read.... but yeah read it anyway. Hell yerrrr


	10. I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK Part One

**Chapter 9**

**"I'm a Cyborg, But That's Okay (Part One)"**

My chest was tight and my breasts were heavy. And so I plotted an escape. I was back in my solitude before I knew what had hit me. This was all too ready to become a norm, to know that I had grown too accustomed and content with my entrapment only sickened me further. Quite forcefully, I retched in favor of getting rid of the contents that made me heavy. The flakes of blood coating my arm decided it was bound time to peel and fall away, so I helped them along.

It was growing on me, the little name I had thought up for my "quarters" _The Dungeon_. Everyone had deserted me and I found a solace in that too. Two comforts in one day, wow fortune! I was filthy from head to toe and softly padded about the small interior trying to develop any kind of sense to the mess. There was a constant objection to each progression that I made, I knew that the more I ventured closer the further I would be thrown back. But there was nothing that I could do but settle for the one step forward eight steps back philosophy.

There was something wrong with me, unnaturally wrong. But the thing was that when I went over it in my head and stared back at my soulless eyes there was nothing to the contrary there. I had nothing in me. All I had was this steady pull of darkness eating at me. I slid out of the liquor laced clothing like a much needed cathartic liberation and simply stood there letting the chilled air nip at me. I was reborn in this very room. This was where I contemplated the unsolicited notions that in my world everything would become black and white. There would be no peace for me; the world would just not have that.

The door was almost torn from its hinges as Eric surged into the tiny space. As always he would fill everything up to the brim, threatening to run rampant in my own madness. He simply stood there with an unearthly determination in his body, his face completely long and stoic - denying me of any kind of readability.

I decided to venture into the comic route. "And I'm so deserving of your attentions. Gosh what did I do to deserve _this_?" At times it was heartening to discover trivial, unimportant things about myself, even the inconveniently timed bouts of terrible dry humor. I swallowed hard with the miserable show of fearlessness, his face - I couldn't even manage to fathom what was swimming behind that stark expression. Obviously vampires lacked any kind of ability to knock or acknowledge the respect to modesty either as well as the arctic freeze of central air.

He crooked his index finger to me as though he were dictating to something so disgustingly beneath him, or seeing the clarity of my situation more that of a silly girl thinking she had the balls to tangle with a predator. That was more fitting; the other was far more depressing to indulge in. "I'm going to be _very_ clear," his intonation made it dreadfully clear that this was not the time for fun and play. He knew exactly what he wanted out of me and set into doing what he needed to get me petrified into submission. He wanted me in my most vulnerable state, bra, panties and un-expecting.

I shook my head, _Yes_. The room fell deathly still and cold, into its own kind of resignation. My hands went slowly up and down my chilled body. There was a boulder caught in my throat so I caught on to the more efficient way to get past that.

"Good, now that I have _your_ attention. Everything that I ask you, you _will_ answer me."

I nodded meekly and wondered at how I ever managed to get here.

Wordlessly, he sauntered over to me to slip his hands around my waist to half carry half whisk me unto my birth bed. Eric retrieved a nearby chair and there were no words to pass between us. Of course he would ask but there would be nothing that I could give him.

That's how it ended, as quietly as it had all slipped in. _What happened back there? What's behind the veil?_ What lies beneath the skin? It was all there, these things that went unanswered as with the old went slack-jawed by a disrupted youth. He didn't ask me anything that I had solutions to or more so they were merely questions that I had for myself.

I was aware of him, so disarmingly so. That awareness, it seeped into my skin and splayed across and into each recess and uncertainty. Then the sense of desperation unburied itself and sent me off someplace where I didn't want to go. The faint pull that gravitated over and along his skin and frame receded and even that too was taken away from me. Like an off switch that decided that it was passive and too unaggressive to tell that shoulder No_, do not brush into me and turn me off_. The terrible ache in my head retreated and I so badly wanted to feed from the quiet pool of energy enveloping him…

"Ira," the strength of his fingers broke into the miasma of thought as he firmly shook my body and looked _into_ me. I was not here at the moment, I didn't want to be here and present where my body felt the weight of my mind.

_Ira. _

"What." He must've been speaking the whole time, I didn't want to say anything else, not that I had been vocal for the entirety of the one-sided conversation. By his expression, I could tell he knew it was futile. He was still trying to glamour me, something I knew his ego was unforgiving of. "How's Sookie?" I decided it had been due time to change the subject.

His body completely disregarded that attempt, "I can tell we are not going to get much further than this." Much like a human, as I've observed in my short time, the most minute lines in his face furrowed but so with frustration and something along the lines of self-discipline.

_Do you know what it feels like for me? It's like something empties me out and fills me up each time then shakes me around like bottled water. The world's more than ready to spew out my insignificance. There will not be peace for me, the world can't have it. There will be no place or people to share the burden of self pity… _"…stop looking at me like I'm some insignificant digit or some shit." It was then that I realized that I had been saying out loud what had ran through my mind. "How's Sookie?" My eyes swiftly darted off to some inconsequential wall fixture.

"You've already asked that question."

"So what? I don't get to ask questions… okay point taken, the silence for dramatic effect was quite tasteful." Every now and again my mind would have one of those carelessly doltish slips and would say what I would be thinking. Maybe I did indeed seek a kind of reprimand. I was beginning to become gravely wary of Fangtasia. "Well let me ask this, answer if you like it very well doesn't matter to me. What happens to me when you get what you're looking for Eric?"

"That's all irrelevant Ira. It would seem to me that you spent your life coming to this exact point in life. Nothing happens for simply "no reason at all." You've lived life and it has ultimately taken you here before me."

Heat peered into my face and numbed the rest of me and yes I did give into the slip of mind to strike him. It sickened me to see the ease to which he effortlessly caught my forearm in a vise grip. I breathed through gritted teeth, "Let. Go."

His fingers executed the slightest of movement to encourage the tendons and muscles to sporadically spasm. I refused him; that would be the one thing that I would not give him, my dignity. My teeth clenched down through the discomfort and I tried to stand my ground. If I afforded this small gesture unto him he would most definitely have me, and he would be aware of it the instant it happened. Quietly I resisted his tight grip only to have him as steadfast and inert as ever. The false comradeship we had manifested dispersed before my eyes.

Eric very much enjoyed the struggle; he took in the dregs of the pathetic attempts I made to free myself. We both knew it would go nowhere but nevertheless I couldn't let him have this piece of me. "This is what you give me in return?" He flung my arm back and simply stared at me. He never had any kind of intention to harm me, not unless I was willing for the kind of recreational masochistic delights he had in mind.

Through the struggle the slash on my arm reopened and he looked at me and my stilled fingers. I saw the unconcealed hunger in him then, as soon as the organic stitches had strained apart. His eyes delivered the unasked question.

My mouth went hot and thick and his eyes remained on mine the entire time. His cool tongue and mouth gently flitted across the fervent, burgundy streaks which disappeared with the path of his mouth. A crooked smirk lit his face. "This conversation is not over."

**

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A/N: I've been m.i.a. for a good minute now but that shall change. This is a filler of sorts so I'm not quite pleased with it but that too shall change. I'm not sure if I'll do revisions but when that bridge comes I'll cross it. It's late and I'm suffering from sleep deprivation soo... All in all I hope you all havent quite abandoned Vesper's Cusp :/ cause I sure as hell havent lol. I'm having an early mid-life crisis/revelation/teen angst/whatever you name it so bear with me here. Come Wednesday I have a 8 hour roadtrip of sorts so I have no excuse to kill time to deliver something bitching. Much love.

By the way if you are into international flicks, especially asian check out this chapter's name sake. I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK. Hails from South Korea. Fantastically weird film. Loves it.


	11. Goodnite, Noises Everywhere

**Chapter 10**

"**Goodnite, Noises Everywhere"**

There was something complacent, serene, and pleasurable to it all wrapped up into this pulsating sphere. Something quite effervescently depraved happened on a minuscule level once my flesh touched his mouth and the blood hit his palette. All at once in a seemingly non sequential mist his teeth lengthened and nudged determinedly against my skin. _A crooked smirk lit his face. "This conversation is not over."_ He lapped at the receding blood as a feverish vapor escaped his pores which dominated, ruined me and made everything feel bottomless.

I could only guess at what coursed through him as he seemed to want to take possession of me, his body strengthened and solidified in craving. Ghosts of a past life wondered in and savored the dregs of a waning reminiscence all the while Eric tapped in and stirred vitality back into my body. _So this was what it felt like, _the swift awakening as his composed breath poured over me, my flesh and bones giving way, sifting then pulling back together. The energy surging and making me want to indulge further into the rhapsody of the vigor rolling right out of him.

Too abruptly he retreated but with a wounded look etched into his features. I held to the notion that my eyes were deceptive in seeing a fleetingly wild look wash over him as the orbs of his eyes dimmed and the long dormant veins about his mouth blackened and resisted against the skin. Hostility crept into him and suddenly he wasn't completely a man before me any longer, although he had never laid claim to that one.

He was almost feral, sprung and ready to pierce into me. The thoughts on his face were clearly apparent when he firmly seized my upper arm and his lips set into motion. His many years of routine dissolved as his teeth unwelcomingly nicked a bit of my flesh and soon a fresh pool of blood was streaming along my forearm. It was now beyond him to attempt to conceal his stricken demeanor.

Eric retreated as though breaking from an entrapment and dark blood spilled from his lips. My chest heaved heavily as I did not know who stood here before me, should I be wary of a man trapped by technicalities or the predator that was branded into his skin? Despite the two instances I needed to desperately hang to the notion that all roads led to death.

Even more, all I could think was that as like death, the truth could not be evaded. I looked at him, he knew it… I knew it. There would be no reasoning with silent reality. I was completely worthless, not even a thing to suffice the basest of nourishments. It now dawned upon me that my disease-ridden blood ensured that I would be nothing but food for the worms. Maybe I couldn't live with that.

Against everything in me, I reached out to touch him reacting to a base fear of being hopelessly alone. His response was something so final that every shroud of pretences that we had constructed had been devastated and those boundaries reset. He held my forearm in a grip threatening to shatter it to the bone. Silently, he thrust me bodily from him.

"Eric," I hurried to him. "Please, look at me." A thick sob erupted from my chest and rattled our tiny room. He ungraciously spewed a glob of blood at his feet, sending splatters across my bared feet and the tips of his boots. My hands fell desperately to my sides.

His forearm glided across his lips, his complexion remained sallow as he looked at the blood on the floor then up to my face. If I had any low points in life this certainly would be it. All the aches filling up my body just didn't matter anymore. All my pent up longings of a freedom were projected into the man standing before. And devastatingly, I realized I no longer had a sense of where we stood, unknowingly it seemed as if I had given him facets of myself without knowing it. His breath came in thickly and he remained before me, sorting through his head, someplace where my own revelations were not permitted.

"We're… we're not finished here tonight Ira." He turned to leave.

"Eric, please. Don't leave it like this. We have to talk… what happened just now, tonight. I can't explain any of it to you. But please. I am begging, don't leave me alone." I held his arm in my hands, feeling the sinews and the refinement of his skin. Somehow, over the course of the night and days and hours he had made the buoyancy make sense to me. Kept gravity from sending me out into the world and I knew he would no longer offer that.

He left soon after that, without a word or even a backward look. I was the insignificant digit standing in the back of a vampire bar. I was left to do what I only knew best, to retreat into the world I had carefully constructed where I had purpose, where everything made a little more sense. The blood seeping through the wounds on my arms dried by the minute and the bruises that polka dotted here and there were on a mission to cover as much surface area as possible.

Armed with bottled water and a discarded towel I wiped around the cuts and cooled wherever burned too unbearably. The night was satisfied. I could agree with that. I could even still taste the female vamps blood in my mouth and her anger on my skin. Sookie, I truly hoped she was faring better that I was. Of course she was, she had Bill of course. As well as from what I could only assume: family… friends. Life.

I didn't fight it when sleep beckoned at my door. My body wound into an impregnable ball that pushed out all the hurts and fears. My whole frame shook and caved as I wept myself to sleep for the countless time in the past week.

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A/N: So I have not abandoned this fic! I've been on a much needed hiatus (not by choice). I've had the craziest bout of writers block. My case is certainly different lol, although I could have certainly continued my heart wouldn't have been in it which in itself would have been a disservice. Writing the last portion of this was a kind of cathartic release, I write when I'm up when I'm down and when the world contains the biggest patch of gloom. I've begun a sort of self journey of sorts. I've sent myself on countless ones before but I think this one is for real now, some things have come into perspective in my life and others not quite as clear. I've even decided to write a novel and pursue publishing B) which is certainly boss lol and a long time coming. The storyline was something I had envisioned initially as adapting into a screenplay (although I have no idea how to construct one of those). And I've developed a motto, if Stephenie Meyers or what the hell ever her name is can do it so can I (that can have boundless interpretations lol). When I'm writing and second guess myself I go back to that... a lot lol. So this is like embeded product placement... check out my work on fictionpress and review please, give me tips or whatevers in the pursuit of publication.... the intened work isn't up though just review my work and see if there's hope for me as yet.

Also I've gone over this fic. I'm extremely longwinded and redundant and meticulous (as like Stephen King, only he's like a bajukillion times better at it) and wow I'm "re-editing" and reposting when I'm not quite so lazy lol. So yea, my editing skills are terrible, skool won't my thing lol. I'm a better writer than editor. But yes enough about me I hope that those of you that have ventured unto this lovely little story will continue to read, fav, reviewing and flame even because it's all good and groovy I love it. I'm hoping to bring a bit more clairty to the storyline and execution and not be so ambiguous. I guess my excuse lol is that she's still at a loss. Confused and mostly in denial with everything. I certainly can feel that lol. Read! And again thanks for all the hits/visits what the hell ever that those are, my friend explained it but i still can't figure the shet out... I did say I was longwinded...


	12. I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK Part Two

A/N: Good mood today. Afterall it's my birthday! Mid-Life crisis that much closer, yea! I've always felt old in the bones but hey. So inbetween contemplating my getting older in age and this resting dliligently in my documents folder, Double Post! came to mind. Hope you all like, and for slightly selfish reasons (lol) happy birthday to me (big self hug). I think that's what we need nowadays, we forget to hug and love ourselves.

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**Chapter 11**

"**I'm A Cyborg, But That's OK Part Two"**

I wept for three hours. There weren't any tears left at all in me by this time but nonetheless my body divulged in its traitorous sorrow. I wept for what I did not know, I suppose it were all the cumulated years I could no longer recall. It was the newfound despair that made me feel worthless. The hours remained stagnant and contemplated their own demise as their time wound down as dawn crept and sprawled her spidery legs over the horizon.

It was then that I finally slept. When the vampire were mere wraiths withdrawing as the sun shone its face. When the walls weren't as spacious as they had been the night before or for the matter of fact many previous nights before that and the globs of blood which had once flowed around in the man that was Eric, some possibly mine, congealed and gyrated like gelatin on the floor before me. He hadn't said a word when he had left. My face lit up with incredulity at how ignoble of a creature I was, that that was all I had to consider of all in the day were Eric and his dealings with me.

But sleep did come.

~o~

I hated it more than anything when lethargy had its way in discontinuing the flow of hours, possibly days at its leisure. I was uncertain of what hour it was or for the matter, maybe even what day it was. The fear of God was surely in me that I was losing so much time. That kind of lost commodity wasn't something us meager humans could service. More frightening, events were rolling over on the other and beginning to feel factiously suspect. Aside from those worries, there had been a lot of thinking done in my bones. Now, it was simply to face the carnage of reality. And by the time of day that stole through the cracks, all I had to do was wait until nightfall.

I waited diligently, as did any chaste bride. I considered myself of man and a man that would get his man. Unfinished business lay between us, and even with his upper hand there was no way it was boon for him. To him, in this state I was at best a girl wet behind the ears and her tail between her legs. But as with every hardened man, it would do me no favors to linger on shortcomings.

Pam was in the office, Eric as well but the woman was a far more blatant deadly threat. She had paused mid file, ministering to her already perfected finger tips and for the life I couldn't discern the rationale. It was transparent she was still yet to reconcile with me, fat chance of that ever coming to past. Her lip was only curled back almost demurely, a gesture that half surprised me.

I cleared my throat and touched my hands together tentatively. "Eric, could I speak with you for a few minutes?" He had his head bowed to paperwork littered across his desk, his frame immobile, positioned as when I had first entered. Fear tapped at my core that I was being overlooked and maybe I would have to vocalize my reservations again or go off on tangent with Pam here to witness my supposed fall from grace. As the moments ensued I was losing gut.

Before I could even consider on anything for that much longer Pam shifted on the couch where she lounged to look over her shoulder at Eric. Displeasure wiped at her face before she elegantly drew herself to her stiletto clad feet. She channeled Old Hollywood from her lips down to her pencil skirt and I couldn't help myself but to muse that were she a different kind of woman- creature she might be the refreshed drink to invigorate this place. But everything here was just so _vile_ there was no other description I could use to justify that kind of stagnant.

She went to exit with her nose upturned and to lightly brush her shoulder into me as she departed. Her skin smelled sweet, like peonies with the underlying robust sap of blood. She inhaled deeply at my neck, with me closing my eyes and tapping my heels for somewhere far far from here.

I stood there like an idiot, surely convinced he would've had me like this for his quiet pleasure. It would take one of us to break the ice, which was most likely a glacier by now, and seeing he were not the more auspicious candidate I peeled away from the escape hatch and stood before him, not too eager to speak. My body cast a slight dark over his work but he ignored me nonetheless.

"I forgot vampires weren't one for amiable comportment," great way to break the ice seeing I was the only one chortling. My face went tight and in a moment of lunacy splayed my hands across his work, forcing his gaze to acknowledge me. "Please," tears watered at my eyes and I laughed at the absurdity that I had more left in me. "I. Am. So sorry, Eric. If I hurt-"

Eric's response was to simply and meaningfully pick up my hand like a sack of garbage and place it out of his sight. At the brief contact the air went still about him, and that hunger in me awoke again. His flesh was alive, each deep rooted pulse told me that as my stomach did tiny flips feeding from another hunger I couldn't place. _He_ was alive, and seething with a quiet rage.

"I'd like for you not to ever bring that up again." The venom drenching his voice told me that what had happened was a subject to be approached very lightly, or chucked at best, if I wanted in my favor a long healthy lifespan.

I rubbed lightly at my hand. "I'm really, really trying here."

"Ira. You are beginning to tire me." That was all it took to send me reeling into being the insignificant digit that I was feeling of late. I was absolutely crushed, belittled at least. There were far more daring emotions going about in me, some of them possible his. All I was certain of was that I wanted none of it.

"I don't understand, Eric." The tears started flowing in fresh. "I am really _really_ trying. I have done everything you've asked, what more do you want? What is it that I can possibly give you that I already have not?"

"You haven't been truthful, Ira. You're lying, you've been lying. No more games, no more time." A grim shadow took light to his face.

"Eric! I've given you everything that I know. How am I to lie about something I can't remember? Why?" Everything that had made me up and held me before him was all to tatters and the shakes couldn't be subdued.

"Okay, you are firm in your answer and I in mine. No more time. You have what is here and I've certainly been exceptionally good to you. The door is right behind you but know if you do choose that I can guarantee things _will_ change."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Everything about him was cold and infuriating and I wanted to hate him so badly for it. "Are you threatening me?" This was to be expected of him. A murder couldn't ever have washed hands as you could depend upon a thief to steal away your whole life.

"Well I don't believe that I need to, Ira."

My hands were set into my hair, smoothing out the frizz. "It is what it is I suppose. Right?" And I was a big girl. "Eric, whatever it is you have planned please just get it over with. You could spare a dog more compassion. And _I'm_ the one playing games? Since I've been here you've been doing just that. Watching me beg for my meals, relishing each humiliating episode you expose me to."

His length unfolded from his swivel chair and leaned across the table, the muscles in his arms rippling smoothly. I feared for the table and his display of potency. "Do. Continue. I'm so interested in what you have to say."

My face was inches from his. I fought my hardest not to look away, for more than life itself I wanted to hold my ground. "Hypocrisy is ill fitting on you is all." By this time my eyes were averted.

"Are we finished?" I remained silent. "Oh, good. Now let me say a few things. As long as I believe you have something I want or is infinitely useful to me, you are _here_." His index finger pointed savagely at a piece of paper beneath him and all too vividly it was as though he were exacting physically strapping me up to these very walls. The pulsation beneath and all over his skin began to sing so sweetly. "I suggest whatever it is you think you don't know you better start remembering."

"How is Sookie?" That had been the furthest thing from my mind but I truly was concerned for her. I realized that I soon no longer wanted to continue this conversation. Maybe this wasn't the best choice that I'd made.

"Living. She is under the impression that something has a hold over you."

"Which is absolutely ridiculous! She can't figure it out, all mighty you does not have a clue. Then maybe it is _nothing_ after all. Eric, I was attacked. I should just now have been released from a HOS-PI-TAL. Not contemplating my sanity and whether or not some silly shit like Were Spiders exist." I patted my abdomen and ran my fingers through my hair crazily, "Nothing here, Eric."

Humor quickly escaped the room. "You know what I'm talking about. You might find all of this entertaining but I don't see what the fuck the tickle is all about. For your own wellbeing, consider what I've said." And with that I was dismissed. He placed himself back into his swivel chair and dipped his head into work. It didn't take very long to realize where that was going.

Silently I retreated from his office. To believe, I had come here with the mindset to pour out my heavy hearted insecurities. Yeah, definitely served me right. My room was much colder than usual, which was only suitable when taking in how my day was going so far. I poured myself a half glass of water and sat on that for a while, contemplating where the world would take me next. Even now I could feel it, the supposed darkness that was feeding within me.

As soon as I visualized it, a cyclone formed and played in my glass vigorously. Take that Eric, if he kept his secrets I could definitely keep my own. Out of pure solitude I had perfected this sort of child play. And I knew well enough of this world now that some things were best kept untainted when not divulged. It was cathartic, my mind was untiring and it craved more. Like devouring a large meal one possibly couldn't hold down. That's what the hunger in me felt like; I wanted so much more that I could ever manage.

The glass sweated and breathed, literally expanding before my eyes. The precious droplets on the exterior rolled upwards, over the rim and back into the wet. Yes, all would be right I thought as I drank deeply.

~o~

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A/N: See I'm getting so much better in rambling at the BOTTOM of page. So I'm terrible at fleshing out plot, sorry if it's slow/confusing I'll eradicate both areas. This will get moving and soon the bigger picture will come into focus. So continue on this journey with me, because the surreality of life is so much enticing. If things were as as exciting in real life, my life as in the fictious shit yes I'd love it. One day I'll be one of the lucky ones.

So this is like a cathartic/kumbaya moment so eat it lol, where/what do you envision/aspire for in the next few monts, year, or maybe even 5 years (don't be shy to leave a little comment down yonder where it says "review this chapter" lol)? For me that answer is quite simple, I don't. I don't mean that in a depressing, emo, or poetic kind of way sometimes the simple truths are facts. It's cut and dry with me, I cannot see where my life extends, let alone even in the next few months. I've never been exuberant or religiously devout but I cling to the saying He doesn't give me what I cannot carry.

My life has always been marred by obstacles, it's been shitful equally as it has been good to me. I'm 20 and I admit to you all that the most basic thing that I want is Life. Mine has yet to truly start. Residual teen angst aside. What many of you take for granted, I want that. That might go for the next person that reads this, or even the next after. Everyone wants, we wouldn't be human if we didn't. But why do others have to be a bitch about it. Kin is kin for me and they still don't measure up. Family is earned, I've come to see that. As with the reaping of fruit of life is earned. I'm humble, a borderline insomniac, I'm a bitch, I have all the vice and faults that one person could contain and not be a criminal. When you do get your piece of fruit my advice is to to tell everyone to fuck off and you eat your heart out. Also this little tidbit will forever coast you over, somehow somwhere there's a little guy without a chip on his shoulder that has it far worse than you. I don't mean that in a stank way but simply be grateful. Above all else, stay true to yourself. Live, Laugh, Love, and hate really hard. I know you get that one.

Oh yeah if I have typos and terrible grammar, I so did not edit. As usual lol.


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